I am pretty sure I said ALL of these statements two weeks ago while on a run with a fellow Q-squader.
Within a week of knowing I was not ready, I was finally ready.
I was in a Wednesday night service when suddenly I KNEW I had to do this. I had to fast for a hurting friend at home. God CAN work miracles and perform healing, but He wants to see my desperation and my sincerity. He wants to see my FAITH at work. He wants me to CALL to Him with all my heart, not nonchalantly ask Him something in a whisper. He wants me to come to Him, abandoning all else that may hinder.
Think about it. What did Esther do before she approached the King? She FASTED. What were the people in Joel’s day supposed to do as they cried out to the Lord? They were supposed to “declare a holy FAST; call a sacred assembly.” -Joel 1:14a. “Even now, declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with FASTING and weeping and mourning.”” -Joel 2:12.
But now, it was different. I needed to interceed and to do so in a way totally out of the box for me.
Then, a few days later, my team decided to partake in a three day fast.
But once again, I KNEW I needed to fully abandon myself to God. I STILL longed for my friend to be healed and for her family to be restored and for several other people I knew to be set free of various ailments and chains that held them bound.
So, I joined my team. I fasted from food, drinks other than water, running, AND the internet. I wanted to make sure that I stripped EVERYTHING from my life that may come before God, not just food, and just PRAY, READ THE BIBLE, LISTEN TO GOD, SHARE THE GOSPEL, and PRAY some more. I wanted to put my whole self in to praying HARD for those back at home who need it desperately.
Yes, there were times I honestly thought I would collapse.
Yes, there were times I was SICK of walking all over town when not eating.
Yes, there were times I wondered why on earth I would subject myself to this mental and physical insanity.
Yes, there were times that all I could do was count down the hours to the moment we would break the fast with a pizza feast.
During it though, this is what I saw. Each time I seriously prayed, my energy returned. Each time I shared the gospel, my energy skyrocketed. AND, each time I was involved in some presentation revolving around the message of Jesus, my energy was restored. I always wondered how I would make it through those times of sharing, but God always made a way. I always wondered how it was medically possible to function without food, but when it is for the Lord, He will BE your supply!
However, during the times I lost focus, my thoughts took a QUICK downhill spiral. I honestly felt Satan just sneak right in and try to take a foothold in any way he could, whether by putting the thought in my head that I need to weigh less or the thought that I am not effective in sharing the gospel. Each is VERY detrimental to my goal and a downright lie! And the first lie is the main reason I have kept far away from fasting for such a long time.
Through it all, I needed to remember, “FIX YOUR EYES ON JESUS!!!!!!”
God CAN speak if you are willing to listen.
God CAN bring healing if you are willing to pray with perseverance and persistence.
God CAN do the miraculous when you are willing to FULLY rely on Him.
God CAN work through you if you are willing to become weak before Him.
GOD CAN EVEN WHEN YOU CAN’T!!!!!
And for the friend I fasted for, God IS bringing healing to her and her family. I see that light at the end of the tunnel. I KNOW my God can heal and rescue and restore. GOD IS GREAT!!! HE IS GREATER THAN ALL!!!
Do not think I write this to boast. I write this as a testimony that God can work. God CAN work through stubborn people like me who have been so unwilling to change for so long. He CAN use you in ways you once thought impossible due to past cirumstances. LET HIM USE YOU! LET HIM CHANGE YOU!!! When you are ready, He is more than ready to dive on in with you!!
