I am NOT your typical World Race racer.
If people were out looking for the perfect World Race candidate, they wouldn’t choose me.
Sure, I love the outdoors. Sure, I am not picky and will try nearly anything you put in front of me. Sure, I want to tell the world about Jesus. BUT, the World Race is so much more than that.
The World Race is all about taking risks . . . .and I am NOT a risk taker. (The neighbor kids actually used to call me “Safety Girl.” Being careful and safe and making sure those around me were careful and safe was my goal.)
The World Race is all about change . . . . and unless of course you are talking loose change on the ground, I can’t stand it.
The World Race is all about a WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE yourself . . . and I am kind of fond of the way Jenny Lynn Ellis is.
The World Race is all about feedback . . . . and I cry and get defensive every time I receive criticism.
The World Race is all about never knowing what is coming next . . . . and I hate that too.
We go from place to place, country to country, team to team, activity to activity . . . never being anywhere long enough to get comfortable, never being anywhere long enough to feel secure. The food we eat changes, the ministries we do change ALL THE TIME, the people on our team change, how we are treated changes, our emotions change, living conditions change, friendships change, leaders change, CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE!!!!
Yeah, it can be completely overwhelming at times.
Of all of these changes, saying goodbye to the people I love is the hardest of all, and this has been true ever since I was little. I would go to camp and cry for days once I returned home. The school year would end and I would mourn for a week over because I had to leave my friends. Even before college, I cried ALL throughout graduation because I didn’t want to leave my family. I grow so attached to people, and when changes come, I don’t know how to react.
The first and HARDEST goodbye on this trip was the one at the airport when leaving home. It took EVERYTHING in me to actually turn away from my family and my friend, Melissa, and start walking to security. And even when I did walk away, I kept looking back. I wanted to see them as long as I could before that chance was gone for 11 whole months. I love my family so much and hate to be apart from them, so honestly, WHY did I choose the World Race?
Another EXTREMELY hard goodbye happened two days ago when we left SHE ministries. I hugged Susy, my new, beloved friend, so many times, gave her so many last glaces, and basically broke the window of the truck while trying to give her one last wave. I was kind of yelled at for that, but I didn’t care. My heart hurt, and I just wanted to cry. Why would I ever pick a trip like this where I could start an amazing friendship and have to up and leave it three weeks later? Yeah, this is NOT for me. And the worst part is, in this life, I may NEVER see her again.
But, when I look to the Bible, I see that Paul, the first missionary, also had to go through similar challenges, similar changes. By looking at his goodbye to the Ephesian elders in Acts 20:37-Acts 21:1, it is clear that they too had a VERY hard time saying goodbye. “They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him. What grieved them most was his statement that they would never see his face again.” These are some hardcore emotions. Paul and his group had to be “torn away” from these people because they knew they may never see him again . . . EVER.
But, through it all, through all the changes, ONE thing brought Paul through, and ONE thing has brought me through. And that ONE thing is the Lord. We may faces changes, but He ALWAYS remains the same. He will NEVER leave us nor forsake us. Wherever I go, Jesus is with me, and THAT, my friends, is a HUGE comfort. He is ALWAYS there to listen, ALWAYS there to talk.
Starting in Malaysia, I started to truly see how awesome prayer could be, how much it could take my focus off of these changes and put them on the Lord, the One who will never change and always love me. I could go up to the roof, gaze at the stars, and just sing and pray to the Creator of the universe. And, this past month in Thailand, it has been prayer that has brought me through. I may be apart from people I love, but that doesn’t mean I can’t pray for them. I may not always get along with those I live with, but I can always come before the Lord. I may not always understand the changes coming my way, but I can bring that to Jesus too. It came to the point where some days I couldn’t even try and take a nap before ministry because all I wanted to do was to keep talking to God, bringing my worries and cares to him. Even while running, I would just want to pray for people. One morning, I woke up and was already praying. It was the weirdest but most awesome thing at the same time.
Paul instructs the believers in 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 to “Pray CONTINUALLY. Give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Even in Psalm 55:17, David says, “EVENING, MORNING, and NOON I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.” Cry out to God AT ALL TIMES. If Jesus is truly your best friend, go to HIM with your problems. No criticism will ever seem too harsh, no problem will ever seem to big, no change will ever seem to hard to face if you are looking to Him instead.
REMEMBER THIS: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 4:6-7
