The women of DOZ have found ourselves in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. When we wake up in the morning, we step outside and look down the mountainside to view the Indian Ocean flowing into Gordon’s Bay, a suburb of Capetown. We have seen the beauty of God’s paintbrush as every night we experience a completely unique sunset. We have laughed and played together; never under estimate the power of a good steamroller baby! We have also begun to share visions for our ministry, hurts and miscommunications among us all, and we have begun to get real and raw with each other.
This truth that has begun to take place is not easy. We all have backgrounds of hurt and pain that shape our worldview and determine how we trust. We have had to come to grips with the fact that we are 8 flawed women who don’t always listen to God and His direction. We are having to learn that conflict does not have to be negative, we are learning to shut up sometimes and just listen, and we are learning slowly that there are parts of ourselves that still need to be defeated. We have come to the end of Africa to sit with a friend who has opened his home to help in this process.
Tom and his wife Cindy live in Gordon’s Bay and they spend their time praying. When God says to minister, they minister. When God says open your home to 8 crazy newbies to the WR, they open their home and they pray for us and over us. Tom has the ability to ask the tough question; you know, the one no one wants to answer and we all hope gets skipped over. He asks that question every time. Thanks to God’s work through Tom, we are beginning to find reconciliation where we didn’t realize we had hurt and we are beginning to see God forming us into one whole body. We are ministering to each other, we are having fun together, we are burning cookies together, we are beginning to see each other as God sees us.
So, what does this mean for me as an individual piece of the body? Well, I am learning that there is still a part of me that needs to be liked, there is a part of me that is afraid to give the wrong answer so, sometimes even when I have the answer, I don’t speak. There is a part of me that wants to be perceived as spiritual and in tune with God even though sometimes I feel like I ‘m faking it. There is a part of me that still needs to accept the healing that has been given to me by my Heavenly Father and abide in that place of wholeness. There is a part of me that still feels like that shy child who longed to be seen but couldn’t think of anything more scary. There is a part of me that has been given a burden and a fiery passion for hurting women. There is a part of me that longs to find God’s agenda for me while on this trip and begin to live it out in everything.
We talked today about being instead of doing. So many of us spend too many years doing that we aren’t able to begin to understand being. As we talked, individual after individual confirmed the act of worship that is being. My spirit was stirred, there was a rising up in me that screamed, Yes! That’s it. That is what abiding looks like, that is what being in a constant state of prayer looks like, that is what my life should look like. God is continuing to pour into us through Tom and Cindy and many others that just “drop by” but all seem to have the same message for the 8 of us. All God wants to teach us is how to be living sacrifices, dying to ourselves and our needs and listening for Him to lead and give direction.
I can’t wait to know my Father’s whisper so intimately that He won’t have to say what He wants out loud, but I will have His eyes to see His desires. I want to be able to say that you only see me do what my Father does. So, please pray that I will receive my small defeats with joy. Pray that I will be quiet so I can hear His call for me moment by moment. Please pray that I will remain in my role as a living sacrifice and not try to put back on the rotten flesh that was defeated at the cross. Pray for continued growth of unity among DOZ, pray that we will take the time to minister to each other and grow in one spirit and one mind….The Mind of Christ.
