-Sometimes you lose your Hydroflask for a few days and 30 minutes after finding it it flies out of an auto (small Indian taxi) going 40 mph, denting it and putting a hole in the side, all because you volunteered to sit in the front and your squad mate holding your backpack in the back seat didn’t do a very good job.
-Sometimes you have a rooster who lives outside your house that is so skinny and tall he looks like a giraffe was one of his parents.
-Sometimes you try to go to church on Sunday morning and you have to get into two different autos because the drivers claim they know where they are going but they are lying.
-Sometimes there are six people in your room but only four beds so one of your team mates decides to “Peter Pan” it and sleep in the bay window sill.
-Sometimes you go to move one of the beds in your room and the footboard completely detaches from the frame, leaving your team mate having to sleep on a bed with a severe decline.
-Sometimes you are stuck riding in the front of the auto, despite the fact that you are the tallest, and your legs barely stay within the confines of the vehicle so you pray they do not get taken off by a passing motorcycle or car.
-Sometimes you and your squad mates decide to have worship on the roof top of your house but you cannot make it through until the end because the mosquitos are eating you alive.
-Sometimes you open the window in the bathroom to allow the steam to escape after a hot shower but fail to realize there is not a screen and by the time night rolls around everyone is wondering why dozens of mosquitos are flying throughout the room.
-Sometimes a street vendor, in his broken english, insists that your squad mate did not pay for her food before leaving so you make a phone call and ask the one if the other paid to which you are told yes. The street vendor continues to insist he was not paid so you call back and the person who answered the first time AND asked your other squad mate if she paid remembers SHE did not pay.
-Sometimes during a children’s Christmas program the staff decides lighting flying lanterns with a live flame and releasing them is a good idea until one lantern does not take off properly and instead flies right into the crowd of toddlers and wheelchair-bound children.
-Sometimes you accidentally book the incorrect flight returning from New Delhi back to Hyderabad after your long weekend, forcing you to stay an extra 24 hours and miss a day of ministry.
-Sometimes you go with your team to the Hyatt for a Christmas dinner and in an attempt to snap a close up “artsy” picture of the life-size gingerbread house you manage to trip, fall into the gingerbread house, and completely wipe out into the pond that is surrounding the house. You then sit through Christmas dinner soaking wet.
-Sometimes you are running low on underwear so grabbing the pair off of the squad “free table” seems like a legitimate idea.
-Sometimes you just have to ignore the sheer number of cockroaches running around the kitchen in which you have to prepare your meals.
-Sometimes the phrase “Can you do a lice check for me tonight?” becomes standard.
-Sometimes you get peed on at ministry.
-Sometimes you laugh so hard you pee on yourself.
-Sometimes you pitch a tent indoors for you and your team mate to sleep in because you are so stressed about the mosquitos and cockroaches.
-Sometimes you get locked in a room for 30 minutes because the kids at ministry like to lock the door from the outside just for fun.
Quotable Quotes:
“Megan, I love you but I don’t love your feet on my pillow.”
“Your feet look like a hog’s butthole.”
“I’m so ready to get these clothes off. I feel like I’m wearing a bib.”
“I think I need to have another cookie. I can only taste it on one side of my mouth.”
“These kids have such beautiful skin. It makes them super easy to photograph.”
Response: “As opposed to Africa where every picture was either too light or too dark.”
“Oh, this doesn’t look like a pepper.”
Response: “Try it, take a bite.”
Famous last words.
“Where can we learn to put on a Saree?”
Response: “YouTube it.”
“I like that we can call them Indians and it’s okay.”
“This is the most fun piece of outfit that I own.”
“Oh, this is in grams. I need to convert to kilograms. I can just double it I guess.”
“You have ten years of eating experience on the rest of us. It’s easier for you to choose off the menu faster.”
To the melody of “No Longer Slaves”: “You unravel me/With a melody/You surround me with Your love” (in reference to a woman in a saree)
“I mean, ending up in jail for staying in India past our Visa expiration certainly isn’t ideal but it would be really funny.”
