I was praying for Stella the other day and GOD led me to the following scripture to share with her…
Psalm 73:23-26, Yet I am always with you; you hold me by the right hand. You guide me with your counsel and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
I wrote it in Romanian for her and held onto it. Throughout the day I held onto it unable to make it just two houses down to give to her. I made excuses of why I couldn’t go see her. I would say, “I didn’t want to overwhelm her. I wanted her to rest.” Or I would say, “It is not the right time.” When in reality I was closing down.
You see, death has been evident the past few days. If you have read any of my squad’s blogs, particularly spectacle and indelible, you would have read of a woman who they ministered to in Swaziland passing away. She was 19. She was 19. She was 19! At the age of 15 she was raped and contracted AIDS. And at the age of 19, her body was deteriorated and worn as she could do nothing but lie in her bed to die. Even as I write this, tears fall. Darci and Anna loved her, knowing that they could do nothing but Love.
And now, I find myself faced with truly loving a beautiful women who I know is dying of cancer soon and there is nothing I can do for her, but Love her. So I fight closing down. I fight trying to protect my heart. I fight the lie that loving her is not enough. And GOD reminds me of his command.
1 John 3:23, And this is his command; to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.
1 John 4:11-12, Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
It is HIS Love. And so I walked to her house. I gave her the scripture. And as she read it, we cried together. I sat by her side, and we just cried. I fight everything that tries to hinder the Love GOD has filled me with for her. And I trust HIM with her. I trust HIM with my heart. For that is all I can do. That is all we can do.
So here is my heart.
