This past season has been one of the hardest and craziest seasons of my life. When I say “winter just wasn’t my season” I’m referring to much more than an old Anna Nalick song (called ‘Breathe’ for those of you wondering).
Sparing the details, just know this: it sent me into a tailspin and sent me to dwell in a land that I had only previously visited on occasion; the land of “What if”?
What if things change?
What if I chose the wrong thing?
What if I went here?
What if this happened?
What if I said this?
What if they decide this?
What if, what if, what if?
Well, I’m here to tell you that “what if” will get you in the end. It will hold you captive and cripple you into living a life that is far less exciting, Kingdom centered, and full than what you were meant to have.
The past week I have been deeply questioning whether or not deciding to go on the Race was the best decision for my life; if this was the right path for me to take. After all, what if life changed and what if people decided different things?
You know what, What if? Better yet, SO WHAT?
I have been called to follow Christ. Luke 9:23-26 bids us to come and die to ourselves daily and follow Him.
Nothing matters beyond that. No possibility, no chance, no “what if”.
If I believe that God works for the good of those that love him, then why consume myself with tying to weigh possible outcomes and base my decisions off of possibilities? Why consume my thoughts, time, prayers, etc into trying to control an outcome?
I can’t.
All I can do is love the Lord my God will all my heart, and with all my soul and with all my strength and with all my mind. I choose to die to myself daily, pick up my cross, and follow him.
One of my mentors has consistently told me during this season that when questioning, go with what you heard the Lord say last. Well, that could go a few different ways, but while I can’t pinpoint exactly what he is saying, I know that he is telling me to come and follow him.
Donald Miller once wrote that “fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.”
So, here I am. Picking up my cross and following him. By faith, certainly not by sight.
What if this makes someone else’s life better. What if this brings someone to Christ. What if this changes my life.
What if.
With that being said, I’m going on an adventure, and going far far away from the land of “What if” (well, the bad what if).
If you feel led, come on this adventure with me, I would sure love to have you along.
Hey, after all of this if you feel lead to support me, please consider donating to my account. Anything is greatly appreciated.
Love,
Jennie
