My mind is blank. Where do I start. The week seemed to go by too fast. The summer is slowly fading away. My time is limited and precious. Every moment counts. Am I making it count, though!? I feel like I’ve been all over the place except for where I am.
Quite honestly, I need a break. I need to escape the things around me and just have a good cry. Have a day with God. Have time to myself. I wonder what’s standing in my way from me doing this….”well, I’m at camp. Then I go right to Training. Head back to Camp. Attend my brother’s wedding…” Maybe when all that is said and done, I’ll have time to do what I’ve been longing to do all summer – what I need to do. Can I wait that long!?
The thing is, I am the one holding myself back. I over commit myself. This past week, I had to do a few personality assessments as preparation for Training Camp. What I learnt about myself put things into perspective. It brought to light who I am – the person God created me to be. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am unique. I am special. I am one of a kind. There is nobody else on earth like me.
I know this isn’t my typical blog. I don’t find it deep or profoud. It’s kind of random and all over the place. It’s me “letting out steam” and laying it on the table. It’s me being real in a different way! I am burning out. I need got to ignite my flame once again! 
I can’t carry on the way thing are anymore. I am drained in so many ways – yet I also know that this is just the beginning. God is using me through my trials and my weakness. I am not proud of how things are right now. I have a lack of motivation. I am exhausted. I am frustrated and overwhelmed. I feel alone.
I can’t carry on the way thing are anymore. I am drained in so many ways – yet I also know that this is just the beginning. God is using me through my trials and my weakness. I am not proud of how things are right now. I have a lack of motivation. I am exhausted. I am frustrated and overwhelmed. I feel alone.
God, I need you. I cannot take another step on my own. You never walk away or turn your back, even when I do. I am so thankful that you are stretching me, even though it is hard. I feel so far away from you. Things are not easy right now, God, but only because I am looking at the “big picture” rather than the little things that are in front of me. I know YOU will put everything together if I just focus on You and get rid of the walls in my way. Lord, hear my prayer. Calm my heart, my mind and my body! Your ways are not my ways. I do not understand. Come what may, Lord – I am yours!
