I finally understand why some people choose not to finish the race. If it was up to me than I would have stayed in Nicaragua. Not because I love the country or the city (because I don’t) but due to the love I have for this ministry, Breaking Chains, and the women I’ve gotten to know. I love that I get to sit around with the women and catch bits and pieces of their conversation in Spanish about the Bible. I love listening to my ministry contact, Steven, share about the ways that God has worked in His life/ministry and being surrounded by his passion for it. I loved waking up and sitting in the garden at a beautiful stone table and getting lost in my time with Jesus. I loved teaching the women English and listening to them laugh as they try and pronounce words. I loved watching the women sing songs and worship.
The word God had for me this month was compassion. Last month in El Salvador, God told me a hard thing to swallow that I needed to revolutionize the way I love people. The love that I’ve given most of my life has often been so selfish, which is exhausting. I’m still learning how to love people well but God told me to begin with loving through the Holy Spirit and through the overflow of the love He has for me. It’s not always easy and it’s a humbling lesson to learn…but I’m working on it.
So this month God told me to start asking Him for compassion. I’m not a heartless person but compassion doesn’t come easily for me. At the beginning of the month a friend from home, Austin, shared a prophetic dream he had of me. To sum it up, in the dream Austin had walked up and I was sitting with another friend and we had both gouged our own eyes out which had left us scarred and blind but we were emotionless about the whole thing. At first I was frustrated hearing this because I wasn’t blind at all! I just had a beautiful and intimate encounter with Jesus the weekend before. I was giddy in love with Him so I didn’t feel blind. After praying into it, God showed that He was clarifying what He had spoken to me earlier about compassion. I was seeing sick and terrible things yet felt emotionless. As I dug into it God revealed the love I had for these women which led into compassion for the pain of their former lives which led into a passion for them to love Jesus more and more. The compassion and love I felt for these women was only from God. Then the overflow of love also led into love, compassion and passion for strangers. I went from feeling nothing, to then feeling the intense weight of the world, to then resting in the fact that Almighty God has overcome the world. The hope I have is from Him and in Him all things are possible when I follow in obedience to Him.
Romans 5:5
"Now hope does not disappoint, because the LOVE of GOD has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
Although I love this place and I’m not ready to leave, I know that God has such a beautiful plan for me to continue on. He somehow brought me on this glorious adventure. God is the author of time and knows who He has me here for at exact moments of impact even if it’s just for the smile I give someone on the street. He also knows what I need and when I need it. The depth, intimacy, and knowledge of what I’ve learned about God in the past 3 months exceeds the past 23 years. Even though I’m more than 1/4th finished with this adventure it is still the beginning.
He is guiding me along this path of righteousness, the World Race, for His name’s sake and His glory and I wouldn’t have it any other way. (Psalm 23:3)
Cheers to Breaking Chains, compassion, and prophetic dreams,
Jen
I love and respect this woman so much! Kenia, the wife of our contact, who is pregnant with a miracle baby!! Praise God for her and her baby:)
