I really thought I would post an extremely well-thought-out blog before leaving the country. I thought it would be so reflective and beautifully written (or my best attempt) as a capstone to my last days in the states. But to be honest, my moments have all been spent in other ways getting ready. Now it’s 1AM and I’m in my Atlanta hotel preparing to fly out tomorrow to Chicago and then to Europe. So in lieu of the imaginary blog that won’t be happening, I wrote myself this letter. You are welcome to read on. Just know I’m ready to go, to keep being with these people, to keep growing, and to start month 1 of 11 of this journey I feel so incredibly blessed to embark on. Albania awaits!
Dear Jenna the sent,
I am proud of you. I am excited for you. I am in awe of what I imagine is coming your way. I believe God wants even more of you than you have currently surrendered. I believe you can lay yourself down more fully and serve your team with more sacrifice. I think God will lead you to do just that. Jenna, you are going TOMORROW! Can you believe it? Can you believe what God has orchestrated for you? You have reason to give so much thanks. Remember that as you are exhausted tomorrow, and the next day, and the day you get to Albania. Remember your excitement and relish the experience of joyful anticipation.
Even as you are going, remember you are also leaving. You are leaving specific things and people that bring you life and help you grow. But for now, you are asked to leave them and that is okay. You are asked to trust that they will be okay without you and that what you are going to is worthy of your full presence. Remember that there are seasons and tonight, you are transitioning from a season of leaving to one of going. And that is a joyful thing, and it does not mean you will lose all touch with what is being left.
You are so very loved and supported. I see how this love brings you to tears when you think on it. Your family who has shown their unconditional love, the body of Christ around you, which has sacrificed with no expectation of remuneration. The friends you are blessed to call friends. The AIM staff and mentors who have made your well-being their priority. And above all, your Heavenly father. Oh how he loves you. Perfectly and completely. As you strive to work hard and give your whole self to this mission, remember that he already loves you as much as has always has and always will. As you serve, you are not gaining a relationship with your father, you are serving in love because of it. This father sustains you. Guides you to repentance and restoration every chance you give him. Don’t you dare start to work to gain his favor. Work because your position in his family is secure, and you’re now taking up the family business.
I know you expect big things. I know you crave growth and desire sanctifying change. I feel you yearning to empower and love people you meet. But the race does not bring these things. Race ministries are not magical circumstances. It is living in the presence of the Holy Spirit, gaining life and identity through the blood of your Savior, and seeking in all things to glorify the God of the universe that causes change. And that happens when you let God make it happen. Let him! When you start depending on the race to sanctify you more than your Father, remember that the Lord brought you here to continue to be with him, not to do his work alone and report later what you learned. You have a choice every day on the race, like every day of life, to decide that regardless of what is held in the realm of today, God is ultimate. Choose to value him above all things.
Please shepherd your squad well tomorrow and through the months to come. Their trust in you is a gift. Let them encourage you when you doubt, and reassure them when they are weary. Lean on your partners in logistics and learn from their wisdom. Trust that the Holy Spirit will guide and calm you when you call on him.
Jenna, this is going to be awesome. 🙂 My gratitude for what the Lord is doing in, for, and through you is beyond what I can describe. And I really like words. I know if you were less tired you would be dancing and shouting. For now, at the least, I know you will fall asleep smiling.
Love,
Jenna the sender
“I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” Eph 4
