I was heading towards the American dream. I was in college, with plans on finishing my Bachelor's degree in Psychology, and then going on to get my Masters. I was dating a great guy, with plans to get married one day and raise a family together. We would be comfortable in our house with a 2 car garage, the white picket fence, and the front porch with rocking chairs.
But then God wrecked me.
I spent the summer of 2011 in Kenya, Africa, ministering and loving on people, sharing Jesus with them on a daily basis. My heart was officially attached to missions. I absolutely loved the idea of waking up every day with the sole purpose of sharing Jesus with these people who I grew to know and love.
Before I even returned to American soil, I began to ask God, "Okay, what's next?" He began to stir the World Race in my heart. Mostly, I was excited. But there were those moments when I had the thoughts such as, "But I'll have to give up life for a year", "I'll have to completely abandon myself to Christ", "I'll have to put my American Dream life on hold." And the scariest thought of all: "I may have to give up my guy."
Then something ocurred to me.
Those things are exactly what Jesus asks of me! He asks me to give up my life, abandoning myself to His plans for me. And He even asks that I be willing to leave behind the people that I love. In Matthew 10:34-37, Jesus says, "Don't think I've come to make life cozy. I've come to cut—make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law—cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies. If you prefer father or mother over me, you don't deserve me. If you prefer son or daughter over me, you don't deserve me" (The Message). For me, it was like Jesus was saying, "If you prefer your man and what he can provide for you over me, you don't deserve me."
OUCH.
That was all I needed to hear. So I applied. And I got accepted. And God is already rocking my world. My excitement builds every day as my World Race gets closer and closer. I can't wait to go.
A blog is a blog. I journal too. And in my journal, I'm totally honest with the world, myself, and God. Rarely do I share what I write in there. It's like a secret world. But check out this entry from November 19, 2011. Through it, see a little piece of my true heart feelings about the Race:
"6 months from today, I leave for training camp for the Race! How crazy is that?! God, I am so undeserving! I am so thankful that You would call me to this! In the next 6 months I want to fall even more in love with You. I want to grow to know You in a deeper way. Father, teach me things about your character and Your heart. Prepare my heart to share you with nations in a way that will truly impact them for eternity…"
3 years ago, I never would have dreamed of doing this. But I've seen and experienced the love of Jesus in such a tangible way over the last 2 years. How could I NOT share that?!
Until the whole world hears….
