Here we go about 6 weeks left and I see that I have so much to share about the last two months!
This isn’t a single story and might be a tad long so maybe BOOKMARK this page read a little and come back later!
Dad meets World Race
The first week here a handful of us got to see some very important people… Our PARENTS! They came to live like a racer and serve with us, although we were very special and stayed in a hotel room with AC, praise the good Lord! We should have given them our sleeping pads just to say they did it for a week.
I was very excited to see my dad it was like a big piece of home was being brought to me and you better believe I was crying when we saw each other! We talked about everything and having him there to listen was so precious to me. On the race we have a great community but its little different because we don’t truly understand where each other came from but to have my dad there filled me up and made me feel a lot like myself!
What we did that week was very unique and if you keep up with my squadmates i’m sure you have read stories. Our ministry with our parents was going into bars, strip clubs, to talk to young girls and give them hope of restoring their lives. The group we went with has three safe house for girls who leave the bars and when they move in their schooling is payed for, all living expenses are paid for and they are no longer yoked to the bars. So in the evening we would have dinner, worship, pray and head out onto the mile long strip of bars. It was the oddest thing, a bunch of clean crisp american young adults and their parents walking into a strip club… It really makes me laugh because how odd is that?!
Let me paint the picture for you.
Think about a street about a mile long, maybe like a downtown area, with about a hundred bars one after the other and all are lit up with Neon signs. Within this mile thousands of girls working inside. As the sun goes down the street illuminates with artificial light and music consumes the street. Just utter darkness. But far down the street there is a little church filled with 40 Americans worshiping and praying to God to bring light to the lost forgotten place. To me it made me smile and laugh because we were brought to a very dark place but God was there and hope was being delivered.
How cool is it that I went to a strip club with my dad? Maybe cool isn’t the word because it was weird, awkward but beautiful because we went to tell girls that they can leave and that they are pure beautiful daughters of Christ. I met many girls and have a stories that I would love to share with you when I get home! It was exciting to be sitting in a bar talking with the girls and when men walked into the bar they took 2 seconds to look at us and leave. God was moving mountains in those two nights.
Living at the YMC
Then our parents went home and we returned to the rest of the clan back at Kids International Ministries. Oh, PS we are in all squad month meaning my entire squad is living and serving together since week one in the Philippines. KIM is a guest house/ymc that supports an orphanage, a feeding program, a clinic and love the children. Our living accommodations are sweet, it’s like a house with all the amenities which makes me feel at home but like a big home because at one point there were over 100 people here serving! Anyways all of the ladies live on the fourth floor in one big room with beds lined up (its like our version of a penthouse overlooking the city)! It’s like a camp/college dorm with 27 of your closest friends. We are all pretty messy and the only rule we live by is What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine. Then most nights it smells like feet and cheese.
Driving the Struggle Bus
The first two weeks after seeing my dad was the beginning of all the feels (emotions and junk). Of course during this race I’ve been sad, homesick and overwhelmed but I hadn’t really broke down until last month. It was a day to day struggle to see my purpose here and I lost confidence in myself. I was reading this book called Crash the Chatterbox which is about the constant thoughts running through our minds telling ourselves we are failing, unliked or that we are too busy. You know those thoughts right? The ones that are discouraging and life depleting and tell you that what you’re doing is pointless. I tell you it’s real and once you recognize the lies you tell yourself you see the truth and who you truly are. Here I wrote this in my journal from the book:
“I don’t like myself very much in this moment, but I am Loved.
I don’t seem to be gaining much ground in this battle, but I am more than conquered.
I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself right now , but I am strong and courageous
Because God says I am”
Scriptures that make this true
John 15:9
Romans 8:35-37
Deuteronomy 3:16
1 Peter 2:24
1 John 1:9
During this time I held onto doubt and was discouraged because my passion was gone. I woke up and took part in ministry all day but my heart wasn’t there and that frustrated me. I wanted to be in love with what God place in front of me but I wasn’t and I couldn’t figure out why. The passion and fire that lead me to this journey was extinguished. I was a stranger to myself! But I continued to press forward. I wrote in my journal “Be strong like Popeye” haha.
My aunt sent me an email, without knowing I was struggling, telling me about a prayer she had for me and what the Lord showed her. She wrote:
“ God has opened your eyes to so much & it is a little overwhelming. I felt like you could be discouraged or have clouded vision of what God is calling you to do. I'm not sure if any of this resonates w you but I am praying that you will be blessed w clear vision that is focused on only God & that your heart would be flooded with light so that you will always understand the wonderful future He has planned for you. Praying Exodus 33:14 for you, "God’s presence will go with Jenna, and I will give her rest." “
My heart was heavy, I didn’t know what to do with that but I knew that what she told me was spot on. One morning I was praying over Psalms 139:9-10
“If I ride the wings of the morning,
If I dwell by the farthest oceans,
Even there your hand will guide me,
And your strength will support me”
I was writing out my prayers and at the end I wrote “Please God help me, change my heart or send me home. Where are you guiding me?”
Then my friend gave me a note
“The rest of this journey is not meaningless. If you choose to press on, the Lord will take you to great places. Only follow him and don’t be concerned where others are headed.”
WOW. I was like ‘darn I guess now I have to stay.’
What do I do?
Right now the kids are out of school and enjoying summer! Which has been awesome because we get to hang out with them all day! One week my squadmates and I put together a VBS type thing in the mornings. The first day we had 60 girls from the community show up and only 3 of us! I lead the memory verse and craft station, we made paper mache stained glass crosses. The next day we had a real game plan and more help! My squadmates got involved and we had a craft, drama and game station. It was like a real put together VBS!
I began hanging out with the older girls at the Children's home in the afternoons and just becoming friends. We go swimming, bake, watch movies and on Thursdays we do something fun (go to the mall)! It has been like having my small group back and as much as I pour into them they are pouring into me. One afternoon we baked sugar oatmeal cookies and wrote out memory verses. After the cookies baked we went out onto the street and the girls passed them out to kids. It was a sweet moment.
On Saturdays we hang out in the mornings then community swimming starts at 10! No better way to enjoy the hot summer days. The kids love swimming even the ones that don’t know how to swim, they love to hang onto you and splash around.
One of the days I went to the birthing clinic and helped chart while the midwives examined soon to be moms. Faith, the midwife, let me feel the head and the toes while she measured the baby then I would take notes if there were any. I had so much fun and it went by so fast. The week before 3 of the girls on my squad helped deliver a baby at the clinic! They said it was amazing but it seemed like the worst possible pain anyone could go through.
We went to a graduation ceremony for a school… I was asked to speak in front of their entire school without any preparations, it was hilarious I think I talked about when I played softball. I'm really not sure.
I went grocery shopping at 6 am in a local market for the girls home, with a friend who is now visiting in the States!
Exiled to Toclaban
Just as I have settled in and found my footing here I am moving out! Actually most of us are leaving KIM and going to new ministry sites which means the party is coming to an end. All squad month is almost over! My new team will be headed out Friday, April 22nd on a 30 hour bus ride, that’s right folks 30 hours. Keep praying for dengue to stay away and for safe travels.
I’m Coming Home…Tell the World!
Here are the details… Our flight flies out May 28th and we land on US soil May 28th but I will be home shortly after! A few friends and I will be taking a detour staying a few nights in LA to sleep and say our goodbyes. I set foot in Sky Harbor at 11 am Monday morning!
I have 6 short weeks before I come home and I easily get over excited about it. I would say I am ready to be home but have no idea what it will be like! God only knows. 🙂
