Have you ever felt like you were drowning? I have. I’ve felt like I was barely keeping my head above water, paddling for my life and trying to survive. It’s in those moments where I feel the most helpless, but during this year, I’ve learned that’s also where I see God show up the most.
Funny how that is, huh? That in order for us to recognize the vastness and glory of God, we have to be completely helpless? Jesus said He can’t do anything apart from the Father, so why do we try so hard to? My team had the most amazing encounter with God and His faithfulness, and it’s exactly why I’m typing this blog on a bus to Namibia right now.
Back in Swaziland, we had contacted a family from Virginia who does ministry in Namibia to see if we could partner with them for half the month. We had it all planned out- the busses, the contact, the dates, everything seemed fine, until we got our budget. It turned out our budget for transportation was about four times smaller than the amount it would take to get to Namibia. We freaked out. We were so excited about our ministry in Namibia, and spent a week trying to find a different way to get there. It seemed impossible. We reluctantly emailed the family and said we wouldn’t be able to come due to budget, and decided we would stay in Gaborone for the rest of the month. We prayed and told God that if He wanted us in Namibia, He would have to get us there, because with our budget there was no way.
A few days after that, we got an email from Steve, our host, that said a few hours after he got our email saying we wouldn’t be coming that someone felt like they should offer our team free housing and food if we could get to Namibia. WHAT!? Because of that generous offer, we had enough room in our budget to get to Windhoek and spend a week with the family. After the hours of research, the calling travel agencies, talking with our squad mentor, it all looked hopeless, and once we gave up and depended totally on Him, He was able to do what He does best: a miracle. The only reason my team is on a bus to Windhoek right now is because God is so, so good. He is a good Father and loves to give His children good gifts. He knew our desire to go to Namibia, and told us that He would get us there. We relied on our own abilities and plans to get us there, and until we gave up, we couldn’t do it.
Not only has He provided free housing and food for the week, but we also got a free place to stay the first night, and free transportation from Windhoek to Otjiwonrga where the family lives. We got a tentative schedule for the week, and it includes dump ministry, children’s ministry in the dump, going to a school and speaking in front of 700 students, a youth group outing, and church. God must have some really cool opportunities for us this week to share the gospel if He wants us there so badly 🙂
God is so faithful in all circumstances. By the time we found out we would be able to go to Namibia, we had already made peace with not going, gotten excited about staying with the people we had fallen in love with, and the ministry that was so much fun. And He could have pulled us out of that the very next day, but God is gentle. He gave us a whole extra week in Gaborone to spend with our family and prepare ourselves to move on to the next season of this month. He’s so good to His children.
And that’s what I’m learning more and more this year, that God just wants us to need him. My team is absolutely exhausted. We’re drained, we’re tired, we’re homesick, we’re anxious, we’re grumpy, we’re sad, and we’re lonely. And we stay all those things until we give them to God. I would be absolutely miserable if it weren’t for Him. God wants us to lean into Him when we feel all those emotions. He is strongest when we are weakest.
We have to stop fighting. When we stop fighting, God can finally move. But He can’t move until you stop and ask Him to. Once you stop fighting and know it can only be done if God does it, that’s when He gets the glory. I’m so happy my team couldn’t do it. I’m so thankful that our budget wasn’t made any bigger. Because it meant that God could show me once again that He is able, He is my provider, He is faithful, He will never fail me, and He is a God of the impossible. He works miracles, it’s what He does best. God promised me back at the end of Asia that the best is still yet to come, and boy is He delivering. Africa has been more than I could have ever imagined, and I know it’ll continue to get better, which is hard to believe. How amazing is it that we have a promise of “the best is yet to come”, forever? Dang.
Please be praying for my team as we head into our last week of month 10, and into our last month of the World Race. Please pray against exhaustion and for supernatural energy, please pray we make time to be filled up by God so we can pour out His love. Please pray that we stay present these last few weeks, and for God to prepare our hearts and the hearts of our families and friends for returning home soon. I can’t wait to share all the incredible things God is going to do these last 5 weeks in Namibia and South Africa!
God bless,
Jenna
