This past month on the race has by far been the hardest yet. Not surprisingly, since it was also our halfway mark. I feel like I’ve been gone a year, and thinking that I still have halfway to go is overwhelming sometimes. And that’s how I’ve been feeling a lot of the time lately- overwhelmed. Not by anything in particular, which makes me more overwhelmed because I feel like I shouldn’t be overwhelmed because I have nothing to be overwhelmed about. Do you feel overwhelmed by this yet? Just kidding 🙂
I think a lot of times in life that happens, where we get overwhelmed by nothing that at the time seems like everything. And then that “everything” blows up and you don’t know what to do with yourself. I’ve been having those times more than I’d like to admit lately, but I’m learning to do one thing before anything else- give it to God.
This is new to me, trust me. I would go to everyone and anyone who would listen to me and my problems and hang on their every word for advice because I needed direction, when the one person I should have been going to all along was Jesus. I’ve had more conversations with Him this month than I think I have in my life. And it’s been awesome. I’ve experienced a lot of attacks this month, but not once has it taken my joy, and that’s only because of Jesus. When those lies creep in or I feel overwhelmed, I tell Him. Simple as that. On my nightly run I would just talk and tell Him how I was feeling and He would speak into it. He would speak into the lies and reveal the truth that was there all along, but I was too focused on figuring it out myself to look to Him for the answer.
If I’ve learned anything this month it’s that God is faithful and good, always. When I can’t feel God and His grace, I always have this vision of me waving my arms out in front of me looking for Jesus, and the whole time He’s behind me bear-hugging me as tight as He can, whispering in my ear, “I’m right here, I promise”. Isn’t that beautiful? That Jesus holds onto us tighter than we could ever possibly hold onto Him? All He wants is relationship and constant communication. How much simpler and joyful would our lives be if we simply turned around, looked to Jesus and told Him what was going on in our hearts whenever feelings that aren’t of Him creep into our lives?
I’ve been reading Psalms, and in Psalm 78, it talks about how God’s people forgot the miracles He performed, and constantly questioned His goodness and faithfulness. He divided the Red Sea, He split rocks in the wilderness and gave them water, and they continued to test him. They acknowledged this, but still asked if He would provide them with food. At this point, in my head I was literally screaming, “How do you forget?! How does God perform all these miracles and you STILL question Him?!” And then that small voice in my head whispered, “yes, how do you question me?” Ouch.
God is faithful in all ways, and I constantly forget it. Every day I see His miracles; I see a group of my buddhist students come to church with us for the first time, I see a Thai woman weep as we sang a worship song with her, I think back to my life three years ago and where I am now, yet I still question God and His faithfulness all the time. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the everyday issues and forget that God always provides in all circumstances.
God may not be parting the Red Sea or splitting rocks to provide water in your life today, but if you look for the little miracles, I promise you they’re there, and God is always trying to show you. Once you start to acknowledge those “little” miracles (that aren’t all that little when you think about it), you start to have a mentality of thankfulness for every one of them, and joy and peace flow from that place.
Jesus is right behind you, telling you it’s going to be alright and the best is yet to come. Turn around and see!! He wants to be your strength, your refuge, your hiding place, your love, your everything. Will you let him? I’m making a conscious effort to make Jesus my initial reaction, and not my last resort anymore.
Thank you to everyone who’s been praying for me, my team, and our ministry this last month; your prayers have done more in my life than you’ll probably ever know. God definitely worked in my heart this month, and I’m so glad I get to share a piece of that with your through this blog. Also, the title of this blog is “The Rock Won’t Move and His Word Is Strong” for two reasons; First, it’s true. Let that sink in. Second, it’s currently my favorite worship song. I listen to it on repeat several times a day. The link is below, check it out 🙂 love you all!
God bless,
Jenna
Psalm 62: 5-8 “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”
