There are times in life where all the plans you’ve created for yourself in your imaginary future life come crashing down around you, and you seem to have no control over anything. Sometimes it’s because of a loss of a loved one, an illness, a breakup, a job loss, or a divorce, the list of pain in our lives can go on and on. At times, it seems unbearable. You’ll do just about anything to numb the pain.
The World Race brings you into this kind of pain over and over again, and this week, I’ve felt it like never before. I didn’t want to write this blog because again, as stated in my last blog, I don’t seem to have the words. I always feel like I have to have a blog with the perfect title, with witty comments throughout (just enough to keep people interested, but not too many as to sound corny), with points made intellectually, and with a beautifully written conclusion to sum it all up. But life is messy, and in order to know my heart, this will probably have to be messy, too.
Each month, we move to a different country, start with a new ministry, meet new people, build relationships with these new people, get “comfortable” (which may mean taking our packing cubes out of the pack-gasp!), and right when we’re feeling at home, pack up and move again. Countries change, ministries change as you land in the airport, nothing is ever consistent. Nothing. Time zones change, cultures change, teams change, there’s always so much change. It takes a toll on you after a while. And when you get down to the root of it, the World Race is just like life, only a little more extreme and compact.
In life, nothing is ever constant. It may seem like it is, but the only true consistency is God. And in the midst of your pain, He gives you an overwhelming peace that surpasses human understanding. In the midst of your pain, He can say “hold onto my promises”, and you can trust that He is good, always, and that He’s preparing you for the next chapter in your life through this situation. In the midst of your pain, you can trust that He cares about you more than anyone in your life, and that when you’re weeping, He weeps with you. In the midst of your pain, you can know He’s healing your heart, because He came to heal the brokenhearted.
He came to heal the brokenhearted.
No matter what your situation right now, take heart, because He came to heal the brokenhearted. God knew we would have heartache in life, He knew that our heart was created to be whole, but life would take its toll and there would be cracks and bumps and bruises. And he came for you! He came for that heart! Do you understand that? He came and died on the cross so you could bring Him your pain, bring Him your suffering, bring Him your anxiety, and He could give you His peace in exchange. Goodness and mercy follow you always. He has plans to give you hope for the future, never to leave you nor forsake you. All things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Put your trust in Him. He fulfills His promises, and there’s no one who will ever take care of you better than He will.
During these past five months, my heart has been broken, shattered you could even say. But there’s been one theme throughout that the still small voice whispers when the rest of the world is screaming, and He says: hold onto me. And I’m holding on with everything I have, and His word is what keeps me strong. How cool is it that we have the living Word of God to lean on, full of promises that will be fulfilled? In Psalms, the most common words I’ve seen are unfailing love. Unfailing. That’s the kind of love I want, and that’s the kind of love I always want to give, too.
I know heartbreak hurts, trust me, I know. But wherever you are and whatever you’re going through, His unfailing love is enough. I promise you that. Be still, and rest in Him. Nothing under God’s control can ever be out of control. We may not understand it in the moment, but we can’t doubt that God is not in control of every situation. Just trust in Him in the midst of it all. I would rather love and hurt than never love at all, every time.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to keep it intact, you just give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” -C.S. Lewis
God bless,
Jenna
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