You know that moment when you're totally at peace? You recognize it. You rejoice in it. – You breathe lighter. You laugh louder. You dance more. And then you start to worry how to hold on to it. And as soon as that worry creeps in, the peace fades until you doubt even the memory of it's existance. 'Live in the moment,' they say. Well, first of all, I never did figure out who 'they' were. If anybody knows, please tell me. Secondly, it seems to me, that as soon as you become aware of the moment, you become cognizant of the next, and the next one after that. The 'moment,' it fact, betrays you.
So this is my dilema at the 'moment.' I feel so at peace on this mountain top. It's simply breathtaking. Our cabins overlook the greenest valley. At night the stars perform the most magnificent light show you'll ever see. And the kids, well, they're not what I'd call 'peaceful,' but they're real and lovely and it's amazing to be able to actually SEE that you can make a difference in another's life. So what happens when I leave? What happens when I wake on March 9th, pack my 50lb bag, and crawl into a 20 passanger bus with 30 other people? Where does my peace go?
I have all these fanciful thoughts… Does peace just flit around from person to person? Will my peace leave me and land on one of these children and then later perhaps on another visiting World Racer? Or does it just evaporate like the dew on the grass in the morning sun?
I guess what it really comes down to is why I am at peace to begin with. We don't often question the good things. Why should we? Why not just enjoy it while you have it, before it disappears? But I wonder… is peace really just this random feeling that we're lucky to find on occasion, or is it something more? Yes, it's beautiful here. Yes, nature has a way of leveling us. But I don't think that peace is simply a result of some trees and sky. I think the reason nature is often theraputic is because it draws us back to God. It reminds us that there is someone infinitely bigger than ourselves who made something unimaginably beautiful. It reminds us that we are not alone.
I think that God is my peace. I think seeing his handiwork has calmed my heart, my fears, and my frustrations. I think remembering that He has called me redeemed and that I need care about no one's opinion but His has freed me. I think hearing His voice has made me breath lighter, laugh louder, and dance more.
We humans are creatures of convienent memory. I don't think my peace ever really left me, because God never left me. I just forget He's my source every now and again. Perhaps I should start taking some ginko boloba.
I am leaving you with a gift — peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid.
– John 14:27
