We made it! We arrived to Lesotho, Africa after about 60 long hours of travel! Flying from Atlanta to Turkey, Turkey to Johannesburg, and then a 9 hour bus ride to Maseru, Lesotho. We all were traveling as a squad until we arrived in Maseru. We pull up and the gate opens to a beautiful home in which we have been given four bedrooms, 2 people per room, each room having their own bathroom with hot showers, wifi, electricity, and we even have heated blankets! What?! This is the world race!
I thought we were going to be bundled up fighting the chill of African winter,
I thought headlamps were going to be a necessity,
I thought cold bucket showers were in store,
I thought feeling hungry would be a norm,
I thought we would be stepping out of comfort, and I was excited for that!
Clearly I was walking in with expectations. The word the Lord re-directed me towards walking in this year is expectant. In having expectations I am setting myself up for failure because rarely does the Lord meet our expectations, He will either blow them out of the water, or take us a different route than we expected. In walking in expectations I was missing out on all the Lord was trying to teach me! In living a life of expectancy I am constantly on the lookout for how the Lord is going to swoop in! He wants us to be expectant, He promises to show up, He promises to work in and through us, trusting that means living a life of expectancy.
Another desire have for this year is that I do not want to be comfortable! I have had enough of that. I believe strongly that in comfortability you are pressing pause, and allowing the Lord to grow you. When you are comfortable you become stagnant. This year I have made a commitment to the Lord and to myself to not allow myself to become stagnant. I know God has so much more!
So I began to question the comfort, quickly the Lord woke me up to quite a harsh reality. I have been comfortable, but I have been comfortable in living a life as my false self. Not only in relationships with people, but also my relationship with Him. Only letting our relationship grow to a certain point, of comfort. My false self is the idea that I have to be a certain person, do a certain thing, live up to a certain standard in order to receive affirmation and acceptance from others. In living as my false self for so long it has become natural. The person I have always viewed as the real me, has been false all along, I just was blind to it.
God had a plan for beginning my world race journey in what seemed comfortable. He was being gracious. Giving me a season of comfort in what seems like all areas of life; Living, ministry, hosts, and community, all for the purpose of engaging in the uncomfortability of learning how to die to self. God created me, I am a daughter, I am enough, I don’t need to seek the affirmation of anyone but Him!
A song that has come up quite a bit, and is basically our team’s theme song, O Come to the Altar by elevation worship. There is a verse that states
Have you come to the end of yourself?
Do you thirst for a drink from the well?
Jesus is Calling!
O Come to the altar
The father’s arms are open wide
That’s it! What a beautiful invitation! An altar is a place of sacrifice, a place of surrender, a place of abandonment. My Abba is asking me to come, come and surrender the pride, come and surrender the insecurity, come and leave all of the pieces of my false self behind so he is able to use my real self. The self where I am His DAUGHTER, and that is what matters. His arms are open wide, and have been for years for me to run to him as my real self, willing and able to engage in an intimate relationship. I am running, steadfast! And I am excited! I can’t wait to see what He has in store for us on this journey. Looking at this month, I now understand the reason for comfort, and am beyond grateful. God is going to use me, but first He had to break me. Only one month in and the Lord is rocking my world.
click HERE to listen to O Come to the Altar
Love and miss all of you like crazy!
P.S. I am only about $600 away from meeting my next financial deadline!! (: If you feel led to contribute, that would be such a huge blessing! Thank you, thank you!
