The book of Esther is one that has mesmerized me since my early childhood in Sunday school. Although God’s name is never mentioned within it’s ten chapters, His sovereignty and faithfulness carry the narrative to it’s conclusion. The story of an orphan Jewish girl, raised by her cousin in a Persian Kingdom, that was elevated to the status of queen, and then stood boldly to save the Jewish population from the plot of a vengeful high official just below the king (I’m sorry if I spoiled that for anyone : )), transcends far beyond what our culture has deemed as “coincidence” or “fate”, but rather a series of divinely inspired events orchestrated by only God himself.
Years ago, the thing that struck me most about Esther was her boldness. In my childlike mind, it was profound that a young woman was willing to lay her life down for the sake of an entire group of people regardless of the outcome. However, as I contemplate these familiar passages four and a half months into this World Race journey, I am finding myself marveling not on the boldness of Esther, but the simple dependence she has on the Lord’s providence not only for her own life but for His people. Esther was only able to proclaim the words “and if I perish, I perish”(Esther 4:16) because she understood that the One true God had strategically placed her in her position as queen for this very unique purpose (Esther 4:14-15). More importantly, she knew that God was going to accomplish His will with or without her intervention in the situation.
While on the World Race, I have realized that unlike Esther, I have spent the majority of my life depending on my own power. How absurd is that? I have been walking with Jesus since I was 7 years old, I have served on missions trips, I love the Bible, and The Lord has blown my mind with his miraculous provision throughout my life, but yet all too often I neglect the fact that the power that raised Christ from the dead lives inside of me because of the Holy Spirit dwelling in my heart. It seems as if I’m not the only person that grew up in the American church that struggles with self sufficiency. David Platt said once, “I am convinced the greatest hindrance to the advancement of the gospel to the nations may be the attempt of the church of God to do the work of God apart from the Spirit of God.”
All too often we find ourselves just like Esther in foreign territory, laws are established for our demise, death is knocking at our door, and it is difficult to see the Lord’s sovereign hand in it all. I know that I have felt that way during our first week here in Estonia. I have been boggled down with a depressive spiritual atmosphere and the frustration of back pain keeping me from a normal exercise routine. However, the problem here is not the absence of God, it is that we are viewing our circumstances through mere humans lenses. My focus has been on the negative constraints of life and not the promises of God. Instead of pressing into The Lord for his guidance, begging for the people around me to pray and fast with me for 3 days ( Another spoiler from Esther), and resting in the His presence, I have been attempting to cope with these struggles on my own power.
The Lord is teaching me slowly what it looks like to live out a life that is dependent solely on Him. As this journey ticks on, I am learning each and every day that I have a lot of room in my life to grow in my knowledge and understanding of what it looks like to live out a life of bold faith in the midst of opposition. I would encourage anyone that is reading this to spend some time meditating on the story of Esther, and allow The Lord to reveal to you the areas of your life that you are attempting to do on your own will. He is faithful and wants to do immeasurably more through your life (Ephesians 3:20), but only if you are willing to surrender everything at the foot of the cross of Jesus Christ.
P.S. My new team, Team Tenacious, and I are spending Month 5 serving in Voru, Estonia. The spiritual environment here is quite depressing, and has definitely taken its toll on our team in our first week here. Please be praying for the protection of our team from illness/spiritual attacks and that we will continue to push each other to find joy every day.
