I think if there was a theme to life, it would probably be love. Love consumes so much of us. We base our worth in how much we believe we are loved. We have a desire to be loved and to genuinely love others. Some pursue love through romance. Some only have a love that’s bruised to offer. Some think love doesn’t exist, usually from scarred experiences of what they perceived to be love. Some think love is sex. Is love the same as intimacy or is intimacy just a symptom of love? Some say love is earned. Some say love gives. Some think love only takes. Some say love hurts. Some say love fills. Is love an emotion or a mindset? Or both? Can love really be summed up in the love languages? Some use love flippantly: “I love pizza. I love my car. I love Jesus.” And I’m sure they do, but before I keep going in circles…what is love, God? Does anyone really know?
The impact is huge. From the moment we’re born, we experience love or the lack of love from multiple people and it sets the stage for how we interpret life and how we give and receive love from others. Even before birth, we feel bonds to our mothers who we can feel loving us. Then we are born, and from that moment we are seen, held, and welcomed by our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Or sometimes, it’s the polar opposite. There is no one there when we are born and our hearts shut down. These hearts now believe that love can’t be trusted, that they don’t deserve love, that love abandons
Obviously love consumes so much of our lives and we try and sum up love on one day in February. Of course we would get it wrong. This love is merely pink and red commercialized candy and roses. Satisfying the eyes, stomach, and butterflies temporarily but reaching no where near the deep longing and desires in all of us, crying out to be loved and to be freed to love others. Love is a big deal. So much that these were the main commandments God tells us: to love The Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and mind and to love our neighbor as ourselves. He even says that others will know we are Christians by our love. But I think some of the most kind and loving people I ever met were non believers.
I think most of my life, I’ve wondered if it’s really possible for people to genuinely put someone else before themselves without trying to get something out of it. This month, I’ve experienced so much of Gods heart through these people. On Valentines Day, the guys on our squad served us dinner, washed and painted our nails, and wrote us letters accompanied with beautiful roses. A couple days ago, our squad was doing outdoor manual labor. We were trying to take frequent water breaks, but the heat was still wearing us down. A couple little girls that had been going to the school came over and talked to me. They chatted for a bit and then ran off. A couple minutes later, they came back. This little girl, Julissa ( you’ve probably seen pics on fb of her…she’s precious), walked up and gave me one of her sandwiches. I broke it up and gave some to my team mates. Julissa watched, ran back to her bag, and broke up all of her lunch to feed the rest of my team mates. They then ran back and got fruit for all of us too. My heart was so touched. Here we were in this red zone ( drugs, sexual abuse, poverty), to minister to this community and these little girls were pouring into us.
Earlier this month, I felt God softly asking me to love my team mates better. That I was still operating out of a love that I had experienced and not allowing Him to love through me with His perfect love. I started wondering what that would look like and why I hold back so much. Why is it so hard for me to be vulnerable and give and receive so freely like Julissa? I remembered back to dark times in my life when I hated God. Love was what stumped me. Some ppl leave God, hurting from questions of why would God let bad things happen? A God of love would intervene for bad, so if bad still happens then this God of love must not exist.This started me thinking of how crazy Gods love is for us. The Father let his own Son, who He had perfect love for, not just come to earth to be crucified, but He let Him be born on earth. He let Him be raised by humans who love no where near as well as Him. Mary and Joseph were only human and were bound to be selfish at times. They were bound to abuse their love and authority like most parents do. What’s crazy is God says the same love He has for the Son, He has for us, also (John 17:23). So we may not know what love is, but can now say that pain and hardship aren’t necessarily symptoms of the lack of love.
So much of the time, we obsess over Gods love for us and forget that He wants to be loved in return. Is not the whole Bible, God crying out to us to love Him? I challenge you (and myself) to love Jesus this month like Julissa. She walks over to pretty much anyone, smiles and opens up her arms, and asks to be picked up and spun around. Even when she’s rejected, she immediately moves to someone else with open arms. Needless to say she has found her way to most of our arms. She always wants to dance. You tickle her and she giggles and tickles back. You smile and she smiles back. You kiss her and she’ll kiss you back. She holds nothing back. I couldn’t help but think of how much longer that would last. How most kids kids start life loving so easily and then through pain, have less and less of their hearts to offer. I guess this is why God wants us to come to Him as children.
Love, love, love. I could go on and on and still probably be confused and not make any sense. I guess that’s how crazy and complex Gods love is for us.
Love is deep…and sometimes it can be shown through roses and sandwiches.
He has called me higher,
Jenn
