Ever since hearing that this month we will be in Muizenburg, South Africa by the beach I have found it hard to contain my excitement. Once getting here that excitement overflowed and the second we got to the beach I ran into the ocean with all my clothes and shoes on shouting, “Thank you God!!!!” First the gorgeous mountains of Swaziland and now this? I feel truly blessed to call this my home for a month.
Along with my obsession for the beach (yes… I would call it an obsession to some degree… as I write this blog while sitting in the sand) I also realized that I am a huge scaredy cat when it comes to the ocean. The “deep end”, where all the waves begin to form, terrifies me to this very day. When I was little I wouldn’t go out into the ocean unless my dad came with me and held me while jumping the big waves. I had reoccurring nightmares of being at the beach with huge typhoon waves crashing over the entire shore; me not being able to escape an inevitable doom and my dad no where to be found to turn to for help. Why, at 25 years old, am I still shaking in my flip flops at the thought of the deep end of the ocean?
Trust. I don’t trust myself. And why should I? In the past whenever I tried to jump the waves by myself I would always get plummeted into the undertow and struggle to keep my head above water. I shouldn’t trust myself… but I should trust my Dad, my Father, my God to help me over the waves.
While sitting here on the sand feeling a sense of excitement for what’s ahead and a sense of fear from the past all mixed together I realize I’ve been becoming comfortable. I’m comfortable with where God has me, the shallow end. I’m clenching my toes in the sand and avoiding the deep end, where God wants to take me. He has more, so much more depth that he wants to show me and guide me through. I may be terrified to go there, but I have to trust Him to help me over those huge waves in my life. I have to rely on Him, my real Daddy.
Even as I flash back to the past I am reminded that not all the big waves pulled me under. The more I stepped out into the deep end I began to jump with more confidence and joy. I would even bring my little sister along and guide her over the waves just like my dad did for me. When I look back on this I can’t help but think of how much my dad encouraged me and shaped me into the woman I am today, just like God does for all his children. I lead by his example, both my worldly father’s and my heavenly Father’s. I want to teach others what they have taught me and be an example for the next generation to come. Isn’t that what Jesus calls us to do? Be like Him, model His love, and lead by His example.
So don’t be a scaredy cat. Jump in, the waters great! Trust that your Daddy’s got you and keep swimming for more of what He has for you.
