Wow! God is so amazing, ya’ll (new southern accent appearing from my team that consists of mostly southerners 😉 and I am so excited to share, I can’t even!
But really!
The last few days were the culmination of a season of feeling weak and having lies from the past come back to haunt me. I felt unsure of myself and afraid and insignificant at times. I asked God for help and brought this to Him in my quiet times with Him. I tried to be strong. I tried to do it on my own. I thought if I could just grasp some spiritual truth or knuckle down, that it would get better. That I would get better.
But I was broken. I tried to hide it, to avoid it, to cover it, but it was still there. The lies. Condemning me, whispering guilt and shame to me in little ways and big ways that shook me to my core and made me doubt myself even more. It was a dark desert that I felt alone in. With no escape. Then I felt bad for how I felt and that I was feeling so alone in this.
I reminded myself of the truth and tried to convince myself by sheer willpower that I could manage, that I could beat these emotions and feelings of being weak. That I could stand strong on my own.
But it all unraveled.
Then came the day. I asked God what He wanted me to give up that day, as I knew something had to give. I asked Him who to share this with and how to be free of it. I surrendered. I said I couldn’t do it on my own anymore and I didn’t want to do it my way anymore, I wanted it His way.
I shared with my team, asking for their help. I shared that I was scared, but I wanted to ask for their help because I had tried to be strong and could not do it on my own anymore. I let go of the control I’d tried to white knuckle for so long. I broke down.
They all surrounded me with love and grace and sat down with me and prayed over me. I don’t remember all the words but I know that they exuded love and grace and embraced me with their acceptance.
Later, I remembered that I had asked God that day what He wanted me to give up.
He said He wanted me to give up my pride.
Pride? I said, ever so humbly. I could have laughed, pride, who me? But I stayed humble at the idea and accepted it. Yes, God if that’s what you want, show me how.
I asked God what to receive in place of what I was giving up to Him. He said He wanted me to receive His lavish love for me. Really? I was in awe, thinking, I would love that. Is that what He would give to me? Really, God? Yes, please!
And God did. He did that and so much more. My teammates spoke truth over me and claimed God’s power. Waves of God’s mercy and love washed over me. I felt broken again, but it was in awe of God’s grace; His lavish love that He had promised for me.
I got to meet with one of my leaders who helped me to see even more truth and receive so much more freedom. She told me how I can fight from a place of victory rather than trying to fight for victory. How fighting from victory makes all the difference since we already have the freedom and victory. The truth is already ours, whether we believe it or not. Whether we see it or not.
Because it’s how God sees us. And God never lies. He sees all things. He knows that I have victory in Him because He’s freely given it to me already! I have all freedom already! If you are in Christ, you have all freedom already!
All of a sudden, I could see blinders coming off. I was experiencing a new truth, more fully than before. A brighter light than ever.
Romans 8:1-2, in The Message says, “With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.”
I realized that though it was a battle, it didn’t have to feel like a losing battle. I am fighting from a place of victory! The battle is already won, because God fought it for me and conquered all!
He conquered the lies, the sin, the darkness, the deception. He conquered death.
I have victory and life now in Christ.
Today is a day of new found freedom where I am seeing my freedom in a new, astounding, bright-lights-flashing kind of way! Today is Freedom Day!
2 Corinthians 4:16-18: So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace… the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever (italics added by me).
I want to hear from you! How can you take a crucial step towards your own freedom today? Reply in the comments below.
I am still fundraising- if you feel led to contribute towards the journey of continued freedom, help me to share this freedom with others on the Race as I travel around the world! I am currently about $3000 away from being completely fully funded for the World Race- thank you! Love you all!
