When in Nicaragua, Ron announced that our first Adventure Day would be volcano boarding- sliding down the edge of an active volcano, I was so excited and knew I wanted to do it.
I knew it would be scary, but I was psyched.
When we arrived at the base of the volcano, our boards were lined up and ready to take to climb the hour and a half up the volcano before we slid down it which would only take a minute or two, as you could go over 40 miles an hour on the way!
One side of the board was blue and the other side was silver. It was made of wood and metal. When I went to pick up the board, that was when it became real.Could I really do this? The idea of it was thrilling, but would I be able to slide down the edge of an active volcano that fast when push came to shove?
I contemplated backing out and just watching the others.
Then, I looked up at the black volcano. It seemed like too much of a mountain for me in that moment to move, let alone climb. I breathed out several prayers, asking for courage.
Some of my squadmates took pictures and chattered. Some said they were just not thinking about it, that it would be too scary to think about what we were about to do. Seemed like good advice.
I picked up a pair of gloves, taking one step at a time to keep moving forward and not making any final decision yet. I got a pair of goggles and we all looked like we were ready to start a science lab. When it came time to climb, I just prayed God would be with me and help me, then took that crucial first step.
And even when it was hard to climb up the mountain of a volcano, He gave me strength and He carried me. At one point, I was tired, but a gust of wind helped me further up the volcano!
And then an even bigger gust of wind came and I ran up the side of the volcano! This was a miracle for me, as I have not consistently exercised in some time and so could not have done this all on my own!
It was like God carried me up the side of the volcano.
Then I was at the top and almost could not believe I was already there. It was not as hard as I thought it would be, as God helped me along the way! This shows He really can and does help us. He delights in carrying our burdens and giving us joy. He helps us up the mountains of life.
We don’t have to do it all on our own. He can help us and sends help to us in real ways!
Now I was at the top of the volcano and it was even more real than before. How could I go down this huge volcano on a small board? How could I allow myself to lose control and possibly get hurt, all for a thrill? These questions loomed large on the volcano, but now I realize these mirror the fears I face in real life too: How can I surrender and let go of any control I think I have? How can I possibly free fall down the side of a mountain in my life? What if I get hurt?
The thought of choosing to completely lose control was almost more than I could bear. A teammate encouraged me, saying I could do this. That I could stop myself at any time, but that I should just try it. She was just as afraid, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her.
So I sat down on the board, and told them not to push me before I was ready.
Then came the push I needed. I started to slide, screaming. Though I didn’t go far before I stopped myself. I wiped off the board, now covered with volcanic rocks and dust and sat down to go again.
After a couple of false starts, I was going down the volcano. Slowly, but I was going! I made sure to go slowly so I could stop if needed. I was still afraid of losing control and surrendering to the volcano, to the mountain, to the free-fall.
I donned my goggles and slid through the flying rocks and dust that covered me, partially grateful I couldn’t fully see everything around me. How many times would we not do something if we would know in advance how it would look or how “scary” it might seem? Would we avoid something if we knew how hard it would be?
Although I didn’t free-fall or speed down the volcano, when I made it to the bottom on the board, I was happy. (And relieved I’d made it!) I felt a sense of accomplishment, but also regret that I didn’t go faster or that I didn’t surrender the control I so tightly held onto.
I wanted to try it again, this time fully surrendered. I know God will give me lots more opportunities to surrender more fully to Him.
God has already started to do this in my life. He is teaching me to let go of “control” and “safety,” as I learn that we don’t ever really have control anyway. We are always in His hands. He keeps us safe.
But He also wants us to step out, to step forward, and to take those risks, both big and small; to live the adventure. To not to stop ourselves from experiencing the full, abundant life of freedom and this daring adventure called life that He has called us to.
What fear are you facing today that you can take a step forward in, turning away from focusing on the fear, and instead putting your eyes on Jesus? He is in control. You are in His hands. You can trust Him.
Put your eyes on Jesus, not on the storm and you can be free. Facing our fears means facing them still afraid sometimes and that is okay. Take a step to Him, despite how you feel or how scary it seems or how big the waves. Romans 8:37 says, “In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”
He can make you a conqueror!
Help me keep walking the adventure of faith over fear as I serve others on the World Race.
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Thank you so much!
Love,
Jen
