When people first hear that I'm going on this crazy trip, they're a bit confused. "How did you get to that decision?" or "What made you want to do that?" Some have thought I'm bored or discontent…which is crazy talk. So to alleviate the confusion, here's the back story…my reason for going.
I've always felt God leading me into ministry and when I was in high school I was drawn to missions. Most of my senior year involved plans to move to China. That opportunity fell through and I felt God telling me to wait. I didn't know what to do so I did what any "good" Christian girl would do…I prayed. It was while talking to God one day that I felt that He was calling me into a lifetime of missions, or at least longer trips than I was considering.
When I realized God was asking me to give up my American dream, and take on His dream, I put the brakes on HARD! Living the life God was calling me to, would mean I had to give up what I wanted in order to pursue God's plan for my life.
So I pushed aside my heart for missions, my heart for God's people, and instead did what you're "supposed to do." I went church, I went to college…well, three colleges to be exact. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do and never felt completely right. Over time, that call became so faint and I was so good at ignoring it, that I went deaf to God's plan. I thought I could figure it out for myself.
Fast forward a few years and now I'm living in Minnesota. A place I never thought I'd be, but finally figuring out I need to surrender to God. After a couple years of getting back on my spiritual feet, I started working at my church and surrendering myself to God more and more.
Then earlier this year, missions started popping back up in my head. When I first heard about the World Race something came to life inside me, but being a creature of habit, I argued with God once again. I thought, there's no way I can do that now. The time has passed, my roots are too deep, my student loans are too much.
Just a note: nothing is ever "too" anything for God.
So here I am…I kind of feel like Jonah. God told me to go. I didn't want to, so I went my own way. I ended up in the belly of a fish, or in my case, the college/career limbo. My life felt like it was on hold. Like it was waiting for me to give up and let God have His way. It was uncomfortable and smelly but like Jonah I didn't turn to God right away. I didn't want to give up my dream, but eventually you realize you can either follow God, or not. He's not going to force you.
When I realized I was Jonah and that I wanted to follow God more than I wanted to be comfortable or happy, I knew I had to leave everything and follow. I didn't want to argue with God anymore. I'm done being in the fish. It's not fun.
So I took the leap. I said "yes" and you know, something crazy happened. God showed up! I've never had so much peace or been so full of joy! All this time I thought I would have to die to myself like that was a bad thing. Hardly! It's the best decision I've ever made. God's plans are always better!
So I’m not going because I’m bored, frustrated or discontent. I’m going because I have no choice but to follow where God leads me. No matter the cost. Is it scary? Absolutely! Worth it? Completely!
Are you a Jonah too? Are you refusing to go where God is leading? It's never too late to get out of that fish.
