Decisions that Lead to Life
Every day we make decisions. What to eat, wear
who to be friends with, whether to believe in something. …We have to decide and
say yes and no or maybe to many things.
Two weeks ago as a team we made a major
decision. It was a decision that in the end blessed and stretched us; brought
joy and sorrow; changed and wrecked us.
A mother of five at one of the care points has
been on the brink of dying from AIDS. Tracy
had been working at their care point and was immediately moved by her three
younger daughters. It wasn’t until she met the youngest that our decision to
impact these lives came to fruition.
Baby(Moses-we called him) was only four weeks
old, weighing less than five pounds, and was in the care of a mom who was weak
and unable to breast feed. So Tracy
asked her and then us permission and we soon became caregivers (aunties and
uncles).
The Wednesday we saw the baby in her arms was
filled with preparation. Diapers, clothing, formula…oh my! The next few days
was filled with awe of who he was. He was so tiny and malnourished and we
quickly went about filling him with love and nutrients.
Within the next few days and on, his days
however were filled with ups and downs. By Friday we took him to the clinic for
his cough and by the end of that day he was seriously dehydrated. With not a
lot of effect from the cold baths and medications we quickly took him on the
combie to the nearest clinic. The whole ride was filled with prayer and
pleading to God to sustain him and give him life. Water was consistently being poured on him to
get any response from his fragile body. It was quite intense especially when
one of the passengers looked as us and said “oh he is going to die!” Tracy’s responded with
“speak life”. That’s what we did within the next twenty minutes. As soon as we
met Pastor Gift, the name of Jesus (which is the true life) was spoken over
him. His eyes opened, and he responded. Then we met a precious nurse (dubbed
grandma) and she helped nurse baby Moses back and he began to look replenished.
Our day was filled with trust and praises of His faithfulness.
Within
the days and weeks he began looking and feeling healthy. He actually gained
some weight! We quickly fell into a routine of feedings, meds, diaper changes,
and nightly sleeps. It was really neat to see how he became a part of our plan
and lives for those weeks. When we met for our morning prayers he received blessings
and protective coverings. We spoke life into him and prophesied God’s will over
him.
The lasting cough however still lingered. The latest
news of his mother being in the hospital with TB brought a cautious concern of
the purpose behind the coughing attacks that was increasing during the night.
However,
the hospital in Manzini brought hope and a future for his recovery. He was soon
taken on Friday and checked in on Monday morning. The diagnosis was pneumonia.
That day and through the early morning he was kept under watch by three amazing
servants. (Krystle and two gals from the ministry here). They were there to
touch and give him love, feed him, and watch his progress throughout the night.
That early morning, however woke us up with a
phone call telling us that baby Moses had stopped breathing and had passed away
just minutes ago. It was quite shocking! I don’t think any of us saw this for
his future. We saw life, a much better one ahead for him. He was going to live
and change the world!
Our
decision to love him and foster him was supposed to bring life.
But I
believe it did. I think it brought life into everyone who met this tiny fellow.
It brought hope, encouragement to others who saw our genuine hearts of love and
servant hood for this family. The village and community were filled with hope,
encouragement and support from “the white folk”. It helped them to see our
response and love and in the end we were genuinely received as part of the
community.
The last two days have played an emotional strain
on everyone. There have been experiences of doubt, grief and intense emotional
responses. At one point the thought crossed my mind of “was this decision worth
it?”…the grieve, up and downs, the emotional and time involvement. As these thoughts have all crossed my mind…I
have also been reminded of people who have chosen this. Vowing to themselves
that they won’t let themselves love because of a broken heart, won’t try to
succeed in the working field because of employment rejections, be a loner
because people have hurt them or decide
they won’t eat a certain food because the “first” time was a disaster. Their
lives have been halted because of fear, rejections and disappointments. In a
sense their lives are being robbed of the fullness of life.
THEN I
was reminded that God came to give us life and life to the fullest!
To me all of the decisions I say yes to and
enter into contribute to my life. Whether the rest of my life holds disasters,
disappointments, sorrows, joys, and thrills…they are ALL there to contribute to
making my life one of change and impact.
I have learned a lot lately from friends who are
making decisions that aren’t part of the normality of the “good” life. One particular
are friends who are adopting two girls that come from a broken past and have
some hard times ahead of physical, emotional and physical mountains to climb. They
chose into a life that will be hard BUT in the end will bring them life in
abundance and to the fullest. Some of her thoughts reflect what many of us feel
when we say yes to something that may not be on the easy road of life.
“I just had a thought from God…I need to see being a mommy as
being used by God. It is so amazing how fear and anger can cloud God’s
vision for me. I see it so clearly, now. Duh! I’ve known that this
is God’s plan all along. Why have I been trying to do it alone, feeling all
alone to figure this out? I am her Jesus and her only way to be loved by
him. Oh, my goodness…how could I be so angry when God brought her here
only to be loved. I’m so grateful that I’m hearing God and figuring this
out. This is what I mean by learning something new every day. He
teaches me how to be a mommy every day and why I’m having trouble with
something. He reveals something in the short quiet times that I have.”
So far if anything I want my life to make an impact. My
friend’s lives with the girls may not be a piece of cake but it will be full
because they were obedient to a life that God called them to respond to.
For me that may mean
that the rest of my life may be full of sacrifices, sadness, deaths…but I do
know that I wouldn’t have learned and experienced all that I have if I hadn’t
said yes! I will never have another chance to experience life with this family
and mourn with them at Moses’ funeral and hold his siblings as they cried over
the loss of their brother. That was very hard but irreplaceable!! At that moment I
WAS the hands, feet and heart of Jesus to them. And that is a decision that I
wouldn’t ever want to regret not doing.My life was truly full at that point!
So I commit to saying Yes to a life of decisions that are
abundant and to the fullest. Lord I am in!!!!!
***Please check out my teammates blogs! They contain great photos of “Moses” and tell of his life in amazing detail and perspective! Thank you for your prayers!
