In the past two months, God has begun to fulfill a prophecy I was given at training camp last year in October. My squad leader, Steven Reed, revealed to me that God wanted to see a new side of Himself. Steven described it as a shift from viewing the back of God to seeing and experiencing the countenance of God. I wasn't sure at the time what that meant so I tucked it away and left the timing up to God. Months later, I am now seeing this word come into fruition.
God is revealing to me how He desires to be more than a potter, a master, and a father to me; He wants to be my lover. As a man, this relationship seems tough to grasp for I always saw God as having a distinctly male gender. Recent conversations with God, reading books about God and time spent in His word have revealed the limitations of seeing God as solely male. He is both male and female and yet so much more. It is as if He is too much to be defined by our human constructed genders/sexes. Once again I was limiting God to fit into a box of my own creation. Stupid me.
I gave Him roles and titles to fill in my life when I should have given myself to Him. I buried my inner most desire to be in a deep and satisfying relationship with God. I contented myself with half hearted attempts which were shallow and restricted by my need for control. In summation, I made many mistakes which led to my skewed view of God.
In less than a year, He has begun to stir within this desire for intimacy with Him. My heart is awakening once more and opening like the dawning of a new day. Shafts of light begin to spill over the horizon. The gentle rays of gold, pink, and purple start the transformation from nighttime to dawn. Soon the rays will grow stronger and spread as only light can. It will sweep across oceans, mountains, and valleys, cities, and all the flora and fauna of His creation. When the sun finally breaks over the horizon, the sight will enrapture and captivate as only few sights can.
This is all to say. Thank you God! Thank you for jealously waiting for my heart to open up to you. Thank you for guiding me on a path of your choosing which has lead me to your heart and the nature of who you are. With my hand in yours, I am stepping closer to the beginning of a new season where you are more than just a father. You are the Lover of my heart and the fulfillment of my innermost desires!
