Welcome to the first conviction blog. Sorry if this hits a few soft spots,
but it is time. To be fair this isn't coming out of a place of pointed
directives, this is something which has happened to me. Therefore I am
merely sharing my experience in thought provoking form so you can search
your heart to see if the Holy Spirit has been doing something similar in
your life.
I think we can all agree there is a certain point in everyone's life where
you feel like the world is against you and you find yourself at "rock
bottom." This looks a little different for everyone. For some it is failing
out of college, losing a job, losing a relationship or as far as waking up
in the front seat of the truck you're living in and hearing voices. To be
clear, not all of those are me, just examples. I really do find it
interesting to know what other peoples rock bottom was/is because you don't
get any more vulnerable than when you were/are desperate. Most Christians,
sadly, attribute rock bottom to bad luck or to someone else involved in the
situation leading up to their lowest of lows.
My God allowed me to go through what I went through in order to make me so
desperate I would have no other options than to swallow my pride, admit
being defeated by my way of life, and turn to my father for refuge. Yes I
mean lowercase father because it started there. Believe me, if I had any
other options at this point in my life, I would have explored them for as
long as I possibly could. However, God gave me a very special gift on the
morning I started hearing voices which was I started hearing His voice
audibly. But that is explained in the blog titled "Zephenath Paneah."
Moving ahead to after I figured out the voices were God and I had made the
pride demolishing phone call to my father, I moved home and started this
Holy Spirit led life. Even though I had no idea what it meant to live Holy
Spirit led or what it looked like from the outside, I made the commitment
to God to follow Him. Yes it took me almost a year to figure out what it
meant and almost another year to make it a reality in my life. I stumbled
back in to my old sinful ways several times, and still do. But here is
where the title makes sense and this blog gets pretty real.
The way to know your living a Holy Spirit led life, the way I knew I was
living Holy Spirit led, is explained very plainly in scripture.
Unfortunately I believe most Christians in the west wouldn't bother looking
them up if I gave the references; I mean seriously, who wants to have
homework from reading some punks blog. Instead I'll give you the spark
notes version, that's more American. People who continually walk in their
sinful lifestyle and do it with no feeling of right and wrong cannot
possibly be living a life with Christ. Basically, if you love your sin and
don't give a s#!t if it makes God joyful or sad He made humans, please
don't identify yourself as Christian to other non-believers because you are
the reason Christianity has a bad reputation all over the world as the only
religion of hypocrites. I was the epitome of this at some point in my life
so remember this is not just pointed at you the readers, it is an
explanation of experience.
At the point when you truly accept Christ and ask him to be lord over your
life whom sits on the throne of your heart, he gives you his Holy Spirit.
This is when the transformation begins. The little voice in the back of
your head begins to sound less like you and more like a lover. The voice
starts getting louder and more articulate. More often than not, the voice
makes sense now and seems to have better ideas than whatever you are about
to do. Sometimes you'll start receiving directions, like the one which led
me to missions. To be clear, this is not the same as the audible voice I
hear, this is the voice most people call a conscience. I chose to ignore
the Holy Spirit when he spoke to me for far to long. You could make the
same choice, or you could be a better Christian. Soon enough you begin
recognize your sin and feel the disgust from sinning. How long are you
going to ignore the Holy Spirit? Are you disgusted yet? How long can you
live feeling disgusted with yourself?
Reference guide for the more studious folk. Romans 8:10-11, Ephesians
4:22-24, Titus 3:5-7.
As He leads me,
Jason
Post Script – UPDATE!!! Carmella made her deadline for fundraising!! Now we
are all in the final battle to reach the fully funded status by Jan. 1,
2013.
