I’ve been in a mucky place these past couple weeks since training camp. (No,
it’s not from the lack of showers, though I probably don’t shower as often as
people think is normal around here.)
But anyway, in the spirit of public confessions, I’d like to add my own…
Public confession: In the two weeks after training camp,
I’ve been all-consumed by the $14,300 that needs to be raised for this trip.
It’s been the one thing on my mind from the time I wake to the time I go to bed.
Needless to say, I haven’t done a very good job of thinking about anything or
anyone else lately. It’s been an incredibly discouraging time since I’m not
naturally drawn to do things like raising money or event planning or coming up with fun
ideas of how to get people excited about supporting me in this journey. And so
I’ve sat in this muck — this muck of self-centeredness, self-pity and even
anger at times.
I’ve been all-consumed by the $14,300 that needs to be raised for this trip.
It’s been the one thing on my mind from the time I wake to the time I go to bed.
Needless to say, I haven’t done a very good job of thinking about anything or
anyone else lately. It’s been an incredibly discouraging time since I’m not
naturally drawn to do things like raising money or event planning or coming up with fun
ideas of how to get people excited about supporting me in this journey. And so
I’ve sat in this muck — this muck of self-centeredness, self-pity and even
anger at times.
BUT God, in the incredible way that He reaches down and pulls us up as
we’re reaching/reached rock bottom, reminded me that this never left His hand.
This journey, this Race, that He’s called me to, is His to control, His to
provide for. I so desperately needed this reminder from Romans 8:32
we’re reaching/reached rock bottom, reminded me that this never left His hand.
This journey, this Race, that He’s called me to, is His to control, His to
provide for. I so desperately needed this reminder from Romans 8:32
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us
all-how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all
things?
I realized yesterday that I’ve turned into
some unrecognizable crazy person these past couple weeks — constantly out
to see what people would do for me or what people could give me for this
trip. Not at all caring or loving God’s beloved with the sincerity they deserve. And
so here I stand, humbled once more by my Creator as He looks lovingly on and
says to me, “Dear child, I have so much more in store for you. Trust me. Take my
yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart.”
some unrecognizable crazy person these past couple weeks — constantly out
to see what people would do for me or what people could give me for this
trip. Not at all caring or loving God’s beloved with the sincerity they deserve. And
so here I stand, humbled once more by my Creator as He looks lovingly on and
says to me, “Dear child, I have so much more in store for you. Trust me. Take my
yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart.”
Praise God for His faithfulness! and for His ability to restore and renew. 🙂 My support account still hasn’t budged an inch in the last two weeks but I’m free! Free from worry, free from greed, free from seeking only to meet my own needs, free to be myself (the me that God created me to be) once more as I start chatting with more people about the trip. There’s way too many people to love and way too many things going on in the world for me to let my flesh take over. “I will not give up what is my inheritance — I was born to do great things! God is alive, He is alive in me.” 🙂
