Prayer for a former Reject.

 

I felt that training camp was going to be another form in which Satan would throw a large heap up rejection on me. When I first got there, I saw it headed that way. It looked to me like all of these intense bondings were going on and I was on the outside looking in-just hoping that someone would open a spot up for me.

 

Then, we had a session that had to do with genereational iniquities and curses. The fear of rejection was both a generational thing and a curse over my life…I guess that is why it was so intense! That day, I stood on a chair and declared that no longer would I fear rejection, I will no longer let it hold me back from relationships I should have. I told satan where he should stay and to leave me alone, because I am a child of God and am a darn good catch for a friend!  One of the staff members began to pray over me. She began to tell me that satan was not going to attack me in the obvious ways as before, but that it was going to be subtle.

 

I need prayer, guys.

 

I know that satan is really trying to tie rejection back into my life. Getting me to think things that aren’t true like — maybe no one at training camp liked you, or you were never really accepted you just keep lying to yourself, or look everyone is talking to each other on facebook-look how well they get along and you are on the outside again…

 

This is really hard for me to share with you all, because it means that I am being vulnerable. The innermost workings of my heart is not something I share with anyone-but you are my new family members and I am choosing to walk in acceptance and love. (while writing this the devil began to put these thoughts into my head:

no one will want to read this, you will just appear to be fishing for people to talk to you, which would usually stop me from posting…)

 

So, please be praying for me… Pray that rejection would stay off of me.

 

 

I love and miss you all and I kind of can’t wait for January.