With sweat in my eyes and weight in my arms, I trudged up and down the hill. Only one of many, I soon began to realize that this burden was getting too heavy. I couldn’t continue to carry it anymore. As I began my hiking journey, I had other expectations of what the end result would be. It really began to hit home when I had finally climbed to the top of what seemed to be the biggest hill yet, and then I was told to turn around. Thinking that my journey was only half over was enough to make me want to stop and lay it all down.
We were given instructions to ask the Lord what burdens we were carrying and then write those down on a log. The log was then ours to carry as we made our way up and down a curving path through the woods. We had no idea where we were going or just how far away the end was, but we were not allowed to set down our logs.
I wrote CONTROL on mine; control of every single area of my life. Yes, Lord; but to do that means I have to first trust you! That was a terrifying thought in my mind. I wrote many other things, but the biggest challenge was that of realizing how heavy this burden of control was weighing on my entire life. I realized that everything else I could think of was lending itself to the fact that I wasn’t willing to let go of every single area of my life.
That walk was good. The Lord was able to reveal a lot of things to me that he had been trying to speak for a long time but I wasn’t able to hear because of my own issues. He spoke that the path I was walking was representative of my life. I didn’t know where I was headed, but I had to trust that the guideposts along the way would help get me to where I needed to be. I realized that fear was only allowed to settle in if I chose to STOP WALKING. Standing still is a scary feeling. It can make you feel confused and lost because you’re not headed in any direction, and therefore, doubt begins to creep its way in.
Finally the end was in sight. I trudged to the top of what would be my last hill, and I was finally ready to lay down the burdens of my log. It wasn’t just a matter of physical strain though; it was a heart strain. My desire in that moment became to let it all go and simply rest in the arms of Jesus. He wanted to take my burden and make it his own.
So I did just that. I chose to say, I trust you Lord. I will walk in faith that this is the path God has in store for my life, and I will surrender all control. It really is easier that way, anyway.
