Wow just wow!!! It blows my mind how God is taking care of me everyday. This bar is missing $120 of donations waiting to be processed but $6,044 is still a heck of a lot of money. I am in awe every time I see that bar grow. When I started out 7 months ago (Feb. 2016) I never thought or believed I would be seeing this number so soon. IF I am honest parts of me never thought it would take this long either.
However, God still amazes me everyday. When you break it down 6k is a lot of money, especially when you started out trying to raise 17k. I am at 36.22% of the way to fully funded. I have spent the last hour just sitting here and thinking about things. I have been reading blogs of my squad mates. I have some unsettling thoughts running through my mind. I am trying hard to not fall into the enemies hand of God is working in other peoples funding, but will he really work in mine.
I know these thoughts are from the enemy. He is trying to get me off track BECAUSE God IS working in my support raising. Here are a few examples of how.
1. I have a growing prayer support community.
2. I have a fundraiser idea community
3. I have a growing financial support community.
some of these groups over lap with each other. A few weeks ago I was feeling like I had it harder than some of my squad mates because my family wasn’t a part of my life much less supporting me in the world race. Check out my blog titled Brokenhearted to understand it more. However, God has placed me with a loving family who has given me far more than money would ever go in my life. I enjoy my coffee and breakfast in the mornings and my dinners around the table in the evenings, sitting in living room watching Gilmore Girls together. Talking about ways we can include their church and my church in the fundraising process. Talking about life in general together. and most importantly talking about what God is doing in our lives and being able to laugh uncontrollably until our eyes leak with water. I may be on the verge of 29 but sometimes it makes me feel like I am a teenager and I have a place in my heart that swells with love for this family. She tells me all the time that they may not have much to offer in the way of finances but they have a house I can call a home and a family that feels like my own. I couldn’t have been more blessed to get to live with them for 2 months before I flew to Korea and again now to live with them 4 months before the WR.
I hope that while I am preparing financially that I don’t loose sight of the relationships that matter. I have countless other people that are in my life and are coming alongside of me to help me in the wonderful journey.
I am blessed that I have connected so deeply with a squad mate of mine. We help hold each other accountable and pray for each other. We hardly go a day without talking to each other since we met in June. God is providing for me in ways that years ago I doubted He ever would.
I currently find myself doubting again when I know that I shouldn’t. We were challenged a few days/weeks ago to not be scared to pray BIG prayers. A few of my fellow racers are praying that they are fully funded by Oct. 18th. That is 3 weeks away. I have $10,853 to go. I was definetly in the mindset of that is never going to happen for me. God is going to provide for me, but not like that. That is too out of the blue, crazy, impossible. God doesn’t love me like that. And many more thoughts ran threw my head. I had said I wasn’t even going to try to pray those kinds of prayers because I am afraid of getting my heartbroken and feeling let down if it doesn’t happen for me. But then I was driving to church on Sunday and God whispered pray for you to be fully funded by your birthday, (which is October 14th.) that would be in 19 days. (Well at the time, its now 17 days away). If I said that I wasn’t afraid, I knew God would come through, or anything else I would be lying. See I am scared out of my witts end that I am in over my head. But that’s just it. My faith and trust in God has not been where it should be. That is one reason I am going on this journey to grow my FAITH and TRUST in GOD. God says that if you have faith like the size of a mustard seed you can move the mountains. Matthew 17:20.
So for the next 17 days I am going to pray hard on my knees. And grow my faith and trust in God to provide for me in ways I never thought possible. If I am not fully funded in 17 days. I know that God is just saying not now, but He will still provide. That is evident already.
So please join me in praying and also pray that my faith and trust in God will grow as well.
~Janet
