It’s been so difficult for me to write this blog. I just don’t know where to start. Do I talk about the…
bucket showers,
the porta-potty piles,
or the crickets.
I’ll just start with the fact that this week broke me in ways that I am not used to.
The first day of Training Camp, I was so prideful. I thought “I’ve got this, I’ve been to haiti 4 times, the living situation will be nothing for me”…then I saw where we were sleeping and I immediately wanted to go home. We slept in our tents outside on top of some mulch. In the center of where we were, there was a big dip thing that had water in it ( I cannot find words right now) that we eventually named Lake Malawi. The bugs in Georgia are crazy. They have spiders,crickets and these big ol’ ants called cow ants…like what. I was surprised that Georgia seemed so much worse than my home, down the street in Florida. The heat in Georgia is ten times hotter. I never went more then twenty minutes without being drenched in sweat. Stepping out of the porta-potties made it seem a little bit cooler outside though.
When at Training Camp, we do these things called Debriefs (a time when we basically give feedback and encouragement) and we practice doing stuff like being vulnerable. I came to camp thinking that I was good at giving feedback. When really I was just good at pointing out peoples flaws. I thought I was good at being vulnerable. When really I was just good at complaining to people about how I felt without really applying the correction they gave me,to my life. Talking about the worst sides of myself all of a sudden got harder because I knew that,that meant I would have to change something I was doing. I realized that every time I did though, I was met with love and considered as family by my squad of 51 strangers (who are all women) and that was weird for me.
By day two,the Lord showed me that I put the Holy Spirit into a tiny box. That I only used Him to protect and comfort me during times that I was scared. That when I prayed for Him to heal someone, I prayed doubtfully. I didn’t think He was close to me either. But He showed me that not only is He close but He lives inside of me. He expressed that to me during three parts of training camp that I can distinctly remember:
1. During worship: Worship is so freeing! You can sit. You can stand. You can jump and dance. You can shout. You can do whatever you feel like doing. It gives us a chance to feel chains break off of us, the Holy spirit moving in us and Lord pleasingly looking down at His co-heirs praising Him!
2. The Hike: During the fitness hike that we had to do Jesus showed me that He has already persevered through things for me. That His accomplished work moves through the doing of us and that my strength comes from and is in His Holy Spirit alone.(I am still learning this lesson as I am home)
3. Living situation: Man,God got me good with this one. OCD kicked in for me that I didn’t even know that I had but by the end of the week,I hadn’t showered in 3 days,I would just leave my tent open and allow whatever wants to crawl in there,crawl in there and eating with my hands was the best thing ever. The Holy Spirit showed me that He fills us with joy and not the emotion: happiness but joy. Meaning that when we face weird and new things,it is ok and it is fun because we have an eternal and ultimate joy that we can lean on,always.
Dear,I Squad women,
I love you guys so much. The Lord seriously showed me that I have a sister in every single one of you and that no matter how hard community may be, we are all called to be together for a purpose much greater than ourselves. I miss you all so much. We are warriors! Don’t forget that!
To any of you reading this thinking that community living is easy or community living is a factor that is holding you back from the Race: Community living is hard,it will take your squad hours to make a decision. People will catch attitudes and catch colds. But don’t leave Jesus out of the picture. Your squad will be your church. You will fight for one another. Encourage and love one another. These people will be your peanut butter to your jelly…on a sandwich…and if you try to pull it apart…it will look like this:
So slap those slices together and enjoy it!
Training Camp was really heavy for me so I am still processing and being molded by the Lord over things that He revealed to me while I was there ( thats why its taken me so long to write this blog lol). So,when it comes to being vulnerable: I’ve learned that the correction,encouragement and straight up honesty that is given to me by my sisters and brothers is really given to me by God,for my good. Which allows me to change my whole perspective on receiving and giving feedback as well. They aren’t cruel,judgmental things. They are real,uplifting and from my Father. Change is good and so is growth.
Yea,that’s all I got when it comes to Training Camp! Thanks for reading!
I also have a vlog that I made! It’s a little all of the place,just like this blog but c’est la vie!
Enjoy!
And here is my amazing team! Team JUNAYUH!
Lastly,
I AM FULLY FUNDED!
Thank you so much to the people who have been supporting me either through praying for me or donating to me or just being encouraging and coming along for the ride! I appreciate every single one of you!
God Bless you!
Awesome Update:
My squad and I got a country added to our route! Now we will be going to Cambodia for 1 month,Thailand for 2 months, Malawi for 3 months and Guatemala for 3 months!!!
Launch Countdown: 23 days!!!
