Whew…what a month!! This was my second go around in Tanzania- I went there three years ago. This month, three of the six teams were together in Iringa. There were fourteen of us living in one house! It was chaotic and, at times, hilarious.
The month started off pretty well. Us team leaders spent hours in meetings with the contact and his translator trying to get all of the logistical info together. We did a variety of things…door to door, village outreach, orphanage work, preaching at the university, working at Neema crafts (non-profit for the disabled), etc. Ministry this month was diiferent for me. Ministry was the three teams. With fourteen people, things/questions are always coming up, and with that comes another meeting with the contact. So needless to say, my month was spent doing logistics with the other two leaders.
This month was one of the toughest spiritually. At the end of Rwanda, one of my teammates was asked to leave the race, and this month, two of my teammates were battling going home.
On top of that, the team leaders spent so much of our time getting things for the teams, that we missed out on amazing things. Heidi and I had to buy bus tickets one day, so we missed an afternoon of healings that broke out at the market (the blind seeing, the deaf hearing, the lame walking, etc.). It was one of the worst feelings to come home to, yet I couldn’t stop thanking God for setting the captives free!
This month was also deadline time to be fully funded.
The deadline to be fully funded proved to be one of the most crucial points in my life. With my teammates going home and logistics becoming overwhelming, I felt out of control. I had no control to make crucial choices for my teammates. I had no control over translation errors or buying bus tickets (four hour event). I had no control over my funds. I had no control. At all. And it frustrated me… and challenged my faith.
Through the deadline, we saw miracles. The night we found out five of us had only two days to get the money in, everyone launched into prayer and action. It was a blur of activity in our home!! After prayer, we went outside to go eat, and around the moon was this big rainbow!!! We knew in that moment, God was speaking to us, telling us he is faithful in his promises. The following day was spent blogging and making phone calls. That night, we prayed again for the funds and went to sleep…trusting God. And then came the miracle. We woke up the next morning to a text saying everyone was fully funded! In just 24 hrs., over $18,000 came in! One of those ways was a husband and wife who worked in the adult entertainment business who stumbled across one of the blogs while looking for other things on the internet . They were inspired by the stories and wanted to give…even though they aren’t Christian!!! It was so crazy to see the way God provided!!! But even though that was amazing, and I was blown away….there was another miracle that happened that night….one that will forever change things.
While praying for funds the night of the rainbow, my squadmate got a prophetic word for me. She fought telling me the word, and when she did, I had to fight to remain obedient. It was a word I had been waiting for, but the timing wasn’t what I had expected..nor was it something I wanted in that moment. I wasn’t sure I could do this task God was asking, but the desire of my heart is full obedience and surrender to the Most High God- so how could I not.
Through this word, a very important person entered my life. I’ll tell you the story in full someday- for I know it will be a beautiful one. But needless to say, God’s timing is perfect, and he truly cares for restoration and healing. He is a great dad! 🙂
So through all of that, I learned a huge lesson on faith and trust.
Or so I had thought…..
Two days before leaving, God began telling me that I needed to rest and refill. I was running on empty. So I took a morning off to ‘rest’…which ended up being laundry time. So my time with Jesus ended up being a short two hours. I knew it wasn’t enough, but I was going stir crazy. So I went into town with two of the ladies, and the breaking point came.
We noticed a guy sitting really close behind me, but we didn’t think too much of it. Neema had been a safe place for us. The time came to pay…and I couldn’t find my wallet. Then we realized…the guy behind me was gone, leaving a full bottle of coke in his rush to leave. So…my wallet was gone- in it: the bus tickets, team emergency money, a key the Lord gave me..literally, amongst other really important things. I don’t know if you have ever had anything stolen from you, but you feel exposed and incredibly vulnerable and violated. It’s a strange feeling.
I was completely broken. It was a moment of- okay God- I still love you and trust you, but I’m tired of all the trials..I’m tired of my team being a mess..I’m tired of being a mess..I’m tired of it all. I have nothing left to give- nothing left to pray. I need you.
So he answered in a funny, unexpected way….. a blind man named Abraham. God speaks to me through Genesis 22- a lot. It was such a confirmation that he was with me…to not give up, but to walk by FAITH and not by sight.
That was the theme of the month: Don’t give up. God is faithful. He is faithful even when we feel like our world is out of control and nothing is going smoothly. He is faithful, even when it seems he has left us. He is faithful, and we can trust him.
Thank you Tanzania- for once again proving to me that despite the trials, GOD IS GOOD.
