My first morning back in the states, I was awakened by a phone call very early in the morning. The voicemail informed me that a school in DC was hoping I was available for an interview. Before I knew it, I was on a flight. Within the week, I was being offered a job. By the end of that day, I was giving in to God’s call to DC.
I sat in a car with a friend, in turmoil over where I wanted to be, what I wanted to do. I was lost in my own struggle to trust God and to let Him plan like I told him I would on The Race. My friend, having little to no insight into my journey, says to me, “Maybe God’s been trying to break you of your planning habits because the truth is that He has a plan for you, and you’re just not listening carefully enough.”
I think if I were a Twitter-er, this is where I would insert the #boom.
There it was, my entire journey summed up in one sentence. Bold words. Words that God has been saying. Words that I have been too selfish to follow. Words that scare me.
I say that I know that God is good and that He has good plans for me. I read that God is good and that He has good plans for me. I have seen God be SO-O good, and I have seen God’s good plans for me SO-O many times. And yet, God says to me while I lay in the grass in Honduras, “If you truly believed it, would you struggle this much to trust Me?”
So that has been my journey.
It has been exactly 4 weeks since I returned to the states. I can barely comprehend the last month, barely compile everything that’s passed since then.
But while in that car ride with that friend, me in turmoil, he also asked me if I could remember a time of serene happiness. My thoughts went to a very calm day in Nicaragua.
(Stop here and watch the video at the bottom)
That day, life wasn’t complicated. I was simply in the calm. I was content to be where I was. I felt blessed by my journey.
So now, when this life feels so normal, I remember a life so very different just weeks ago.
Most days, I don’t know how to be that person in this life. I think I really liked that person, and most days, I’m not really sure what the purpose is of this life. But I’ll cling to the memory to know that life is best when you are content where you are called and when you know that your journey is a blessing.
For those of you who watched me grow up, you know how much I love Madeleine L’Engle. Her words at the end remind me that when I’ve emptied all myself, God then fills me with Himself. At that point, I am not dead, but more whole than ever.
Since most of you are curious, I’ll fill you in. I am now living in DC, teaching at the Kingsbury Day School. I haven’t restructured my plans for grad school yet. I’m beginning to think about a shift into Occupational Therapy, but I haven’t chosen a graduate school as of now. My hopes are to return to Honduras at the end of the school year, even if just for the summer. For now, I am marching boldly into a new year with students, and I am eager to give God my best.
With everything in my heart, THANK YOU for following my journey around the world! THANK YOU for being a part of it prayerfully and financially. And, THANK YOU for every comment and encouraging word. YOU were an essential part to My Race.
