We were posed with this question in a classroom in Croatia after showing Kathryn’s video of our time in Swaziland. The question took me so off guard that all I could mutter after a moment of hesitation was, “We. . . hope there’s hope.” I sat with the question all day, rolling it around in my head. . . no answer.
Hurting with racism, corruption, and disease at a level that I’ve never seen before in my life, Africa left me with very little hope.
As we met each person there, I would recall verses from the Bible. . . Hope comes from God. . . God’s hope never disappoints. . . and tell myself that we were the carriers of hope, we had been called there to bring hope. But I left Africa with a diminished belief in hope, and since, have tried to put it out of my mind.
However, as this question dredged it up again, I began to realize that a battle between a belief in hope and despair has been waging inside me for a long time.
I mean, with all the bad things the world shows me, I have a lot of evidence for despair, but what argument can hope offer?
The Bible says there’s hope, and that hope does not disappoint.
Though the Bosnian war ravaged this area, I see thriving cities where life has been restored.
I walked inside a tunnel in Sarajevo where free Bosnians secretly evacuated over a million people from the city while it was under siege by the Serbs.
A swaying mass of Atlanta youth sing “there’s always gonna be another mountain, I’m always gonna wanna make it move,” while proud parents wave posters and watch their children become the first generation in their families to graduate from high school.
As each example enters my mind, it is quickly replaced with a despairing one, and I think, “What does it mean to only ‘hope there’s hope’.” It’s so far diminished from having hope, from carrying hope. Two steps removed from residing in hope. But even this flickering light, isn’t it better than having no hope at all?
No hope at all looks like a hallway in Atlanta where a teacher sits on the floor, staring at the lockers, crying. That moment hadn’t lasted long, but its memory reminded me that this battle has been no stranger to my spirit.
I’m the kind of person that likes having all the answers, and don’t we all? As a believer, sometimes I feel like I’m supposed to. The truth is, believer or not, no one has all the answers. I may have one, but things like hope seem determined to drive me mad.
So, as I stare bleakly into a world where hope can often seem scarce, I can pinpoint a few things I know to be true.
I am a walking pillar of hope. Jesus’ death on the cross completely restored my spirit from the sinfully evil creature I came into the world as, and because of Him, I stand as evidence that change can and does happen.
I am called to remain faithful to God, whether or not I understand His ways at times.
I stand to say HERE I AM. PLEASE SEND ME! (click here)
I may not understand hope, what or where it is, at all times. But, I do believe it exists. And I do believe that as long as there are people with good in them to say “Here I am. Please send me!” that there’ll always be hope. I’m determined to believe it. So, Africa, Yes. There is hope for you.
Africa, there will always be hope. . .
