I would love to tell you I’m not scared. That moving to Thailand isn’t scary at all and that I’m so sure it’s going to be perfect.
but I would be lying.
The truth is i’m scared. this isn’t going on the Race knowing that 45 people who became family who loved me through harder seasons than this one will be on the other side of that plane ride.
This isn’t coming home to my family.
This is going to Thailand knowing that a couple of friends will be there for the summer. This is stepping into my calling in a big way.
And it’s scary.
Lately there have been more bad days than good. Worried days. Off Days. Days of knowing this season is coming to a close at a rapid pace.
My four months in Georgia have been so full, of friends, of community, of squad mates, of learning and growing and changing but they are rapidly coming to a close and it’s time to say goodbye.
Last Wednesday as I left a dinner with my squadmates who live here in Gainesville, I barely made it to the car before I began crying and not the pretty kind, the ugly, soul cry kind. It wasn’t anything they said or did.
Reality was hitting as I realized
I’m going to miss it all. My niece is going to turn two at the end of May. My friends are going to get engaged and married, they are going to have summer bbq’s, and coffee dates, and moments in each others living room’s much like the ones we had just had.
I won’t be there.
I’ll be in Thailand. But what has my time in Georgia been preparing me for if it isn’t Thailand. Would it be easier to stay? Yes. Would it hurt less? Probably. Would I be walking the walk instead of talking the talk? Nope.
Thailand is where I have been called for this season. Which could last 7 months or 7 years to step out of fear into the promises God has for me.
I know right now what I’m experiencing are growing pains I have felt them before, and they are always hard, they often lead to tears daily but what’s on the other side is so beautiful and worth it.
But that doesn’t make them easier.
This season is preparing me for the next and the Lord only promised it would be good not easy. I knew that coming home from the race, I knew that moving to Georgia, and I know it now.
So i’m standing on a few promises right now.
Ones like
“You never said it would be easy, you only said I’d never go alone.”
And
“You are faithful to the end you will finish what you started”
I stand on those promises knowing that God is faithful and that He isn’t asking of me something that He won’t walk with me through.
Life is filled with moments like this. Ones where God gives us a choice to step into what He has for us or to run scared.
And I’m not running scared.
I am raising money to go to Thailand $750 a month to be exact. Please prayfully consider partnering with me as I move to Thailand and work with women trapped in sex trafficking. You can set up monthly donations by going to Adventures.org/dynapay or make a one-time donation by clicking support me on the left.
