It's hard to say goodbye..especially from Africa - Explore Archived World Race Alumni Blogs

On Friday afternoon as we prepared to leave for the market for dinner I received the call that my Aunt June had died at the age of 57, she was my favorite person almost my whole life second only to my Papa. I’ve been putting off this blog because I knew that once I posted it I could no longer deny it, she is gone. I knew this before but now I’m admitting it. She is gone and she can’t come back. But God is giving me comfort, the peace hasn’t come yet but I know that will take time. As I began to grieve God provided me with a verse that comforted me, in the most bizarre way, through a TV show. Isaiah 40:31 (You) will soar on wings like eagles (you) will run and not grow weary (you) will walk and not grow faint. I knew immediately that was a verse for me about Aunt June; because she was wheelchair bound and not able to do any of those things on earth, but she can now, she can dance with Jesus and I take comfort in that. I still wish I could have said I love you one more time and give her one more hug, but I will probably feel that way for a very long time. I take comfort in the fact that I saw her at Christmas told her I loved her and hugged her goodbye. She knew that I loved her and that I was following my dreams and listening to God’s call and she wouldn’t have wanted anything different.

I wanted to go home and grieve with my family for a short time, but after numerous conversations with both of my parents, my best friend, and my Grandma and a lot of prayer I felt like God is calling me to be here. He has something for me here during the time that I would have been at home with my family, I don’t know what it is yet but I will know it when it happens.

“I will wait

I will move ahead bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting

I will serve you

While I’m waiting

I will worship

While I’m waiting

I will not fade “

-While I’m waiting

I still want to go home, but I am fighting to stay, fighting to obey. No matter how hard it is. But that is still not the hardest part. The hardest part of saying goodbye is doing it everyday. I wanted to write this blog not just to say goodbye but because losing someone you love is hard on the race but it’s also hard in life and that is what the race is it is life, it’s not short term or just temporary it is life and loss happens but I’m learning a new dependence on my Heavenly Father and it’s beautiful.

So Goodbye Aunt June…I will miss you for a very long time but I know you are at peace and that comforts me. I will love you forever and ever.

Below is the poem I requested my mom read at her funeral:

I thought I saw her face today

In the sparkle of the morning sun.