When I was growing up there was a poem that hung on the wall next to our front door. It was a poem called “Footprints in the Sand” and I have copied it below:
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along a beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.
Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.”
The Lord Replied:
“My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you”
Carolyn Joyce Carty
I love this poem and though it hung in my house throughout my childhood, I never believed in or understood the truth of its words until much later in my life. Sadly, I have to admit that if I were to look at my own life and my own footprints in the sand there would be many places early on where you wouldn’t see footprints at all, but rather two long, deep trenches where I had dug my heels in thinking that I could do life on my own. These trenches are the points where God had to drag me the entire way because he refused to let me go and I refused to follow Him willingly. I praise him that he never did let me go, that he was willing to pull me along despite my resistance. I rejoice that he always held onto me even when I didn’t want to walk with him. I celebrate that I now not only walk freely with him, but that I have full trust in him to catch me as I leap into his arms and welcome his strong arms carrying me during my lowest and saddest times.
My trenches in the sand are reminders of all that God has brought me through in my life. They are reminders of how stubborn I can be and how much help I need as I make my way through this life. God knew this when he made me and it is my belief that this is why he provided me with the most incredible family in the world; he knew that I would need a LARGE support group that would love me and influence me. He put me in the very family that I needed to be in and when I think of them it is just another reason that I praise God and know he loves me.
I am from Michigan and I am the youngest of six kids (three boys, three girls) and my father raised me. My mother died from breast cancer in 1988 when I was only five years old and my oldest brother was only fifteen. Life growing up was difficult in many ways, but I am incredibly blessed to have grown up in a home where I never had to question whether or not I was loved and in a home where I was taught about God (even though it took me years to fully embrace this faith as my own, it was so critical to have this example and teaching during my upbringing).
Over the years my family has grown as each of my brothers and sisters have gotten married and begun families of their own. Those that have been crazy enough to choose to join my silly family have been perfect additions into the Freeman family. Those that have come into my family through God’s plan (I have 21 nieces and nephews and two more on the way!!!) have been more of a blessing in my life than they will probably ever know. My family is so very important in my life and the thought of leaving them always breaks my heart. However, unlike times that I have left them before, this time I leave as a result of giving my life to Christ and I find comfort in Matthew 10:37-39:
Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
I want to be worthy of my Lord. I know that I am not. I know that he loves me anyways and freely gives me his Grace. Thank you Jesus! That I am His is the most important thing that there is to know about me. My choosing to leave my family does not make me love them any less, it’s simply a sign to my Heavenly Father that I love him more.
Not only has my Heavenly Father blessed me with the perfect family, but he has blessed me with incredible friends and an amazing church. I am deeply and completely surrounded by riches at home and it makes it difficult to leave for this World Race for 11 months. However, God has been stretching me and teaching me much over the last few years and helping me to become the woman he created me to be. I know that in order to fully become that woman that means not being content staying where I am, but continuing to run towards Christ and continuing to serve him. I am excited to see how he uses the World Race to bring me even closer to him and how it will help me to become more fully me. I also am excited to meet the “family” that God has in store for me there. He fit me so perfectly into my family at home and I know that he will do the same for my family on the World Race.
