Holy Crap. The most insane, exhausting, stinky, overwhelming and beautiful week of my life. Im not just talking physically exhausting but mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Physically I was pushed to my limits. I worked off of an average of four to five hours of sleep a night.(I’m a 8 hours a night kinda girl.) I worked out with my squad every morning. I ate small portions of foreign food for almost every meal. One day all the ladies had bootcamp… not gonna go into detail, but for one of the workouts we had to do 75 burpees… I wanted to pass out. Every night had a different sleeping scenario. The air line looses half your luggage? that means you sleep in a two person tent with three people and no sleeping bag on the concrete with your legs through the arm holes of your jacket. The border closes early? that means you and your 40 squad mates sleep on a bus for the night. Your tents magically disappear and your in the woods? that means you strap up them hammocks and make tents from tarps. You have to sleep with 10 other girls in a huge tent…well then you wake all the other tents up at 6 am laughing because you squad mate (kelley) roles on top of you to wake you up. Oh and you can’t forget the bucket showers!
Yes I was exhausted along with the rest of my squad, but all of these activities and scenarios made for some amazing bonding time! Not to mention preparing me for how I may be living over the next year.
Mentally I was overwhelmed. The majority of the first three days were spent sitting and listening to sermons preparing us spiritually . And the days after that were spent preparing us with all the facts. I took soooooo much notes! It was A LOT of information in a short period of time.
Emotionally I was broken. Those first few days were rough. God brought up a lot of pain and unforgiveness that I thought I had dealt with, but it was clear I hadn’t. I had to grieve. I had to be vulnerable and open with strangers. I needed to forgive. God showed me the beauty in this. He showed me that grieving is healthy and needed. And He showed me how to truly forgive because he has forgiven me. In that week He brought me to a place of peace.
Now spiritually. This was by far the hardest yet most beautiful part of the week. I was raised in a baptist church. We didn’t talk about the spiritual realm or gifts of the spirit. It wasn’t until we switched to a nondenominational church that we even talked about these things and even at that church it was fairly new. With that said I do believe in these things. I believe that our God is working all around us. I believe people can speak in tongues and pray healing over each other and many other gifts that God has given us. However I do not believe we were all given the same gifts, I believe that God speaks to us all differently and uses us in different ways.
But I struggled with that this week. Seeing people being completely filled with the spirit, hearing them cry out and weep or speak in tongues. And then there I was quietly talking to God. The devil used this to place doubt in my head saying my relationship with God wasn’t strong enough. I remember praying to God and just saying “God be patient with me. This week is a lot to take in. I believe you are moving and I believe you can use me I just need time to take it all in.” God didn’t want to be patient. He reminded me of when I asked him to tell me if he wanted me to go on this trip; his answer, a vision. He reminded me that he does speak to me. Maybe not in a loud voice in my head but through visions, feelings and everything around me! Later that day he showed me just how much he really can use me.
During a one on one with one of our coaches for the week God got rid of all doubt I was feeling. My coach asked me to pray over her because she was confident that God would show me something. She was right. God gave me a word and a picture that told me exactly what she was going through and what I needed to pray over her. I was kinda in shock. And then later in the week I was able to pray over a girl on my squad and not just another empty prayer but exactly what God wanted her to hear.
This week God showed me that he can use me and that He will. He showed me the power of prayer. He showed me that he created every one of us with purpose and a plan. He showed me he is here, alive and moving.
So yeah I titled this Holy crap because honestly thats what comes to mind when I think of that crazy week! Im still trying to process all of it! And trying to summarize it seemed impossible so my apologies if this blog is all over the place! It was complete insanity, but it was perfect!
Thank you all for taking the time to read about my crazy week at training camp. I am now 90% funded thanks to all of you praying and giving! I need to raise just over 1300 by August 18th! And more awesome news!!!! I am officially leaving on September 6th and going to the Philippines then Swaziland and then Nicaragua! Thank you again for everything! love you guys<3
