During our first week working with El Puente, my team served at a local nursing home, which literally translates as Home of the Ancients in English (too funny). In the mornings, we helped the staff there clean (mostly wiping windows, sweeping and mopping) and in the afternoons, we visited residents. Though heartbreaking at times, this was one of my most enjoyable moments on my Race thus far.
As we swept and mopped our way through the building, I found myself looking at the single dresser and tiny bed assigned to each, all lined up side-by-side in one room together. I could not help but compare this to the rooms and homes that I have had the privilege of living in. Most everything these individuals now own are contained within 4 drawers. As embarrassing as it is to now admit, that would not even hold all of my cooking supplies back home.
We walked through the rooms and hallways looking upon the different faces. Some were adorned with makeup and/or beamed with smiles of joy. Other faces were sunken and weathered, with looks of helplessness and disconnection. My heart ached as I looked upon some of them confined to beds and wheelchairs and others whose minds were distant. This was nothing compared to the sadness I experienced once I started hearing some of the stories behind those faces though. I want to share with you two of those stories, and the beautiful women behind them. Their names are Barbara and Ruth.
Barbara is from California and has Alzheimers. Her long term memory is very good, but she often struggles with short term memory. She remembers most everything from her past (names, jobs, locations), but she has a hard time remembering details just told to her, and often confuses past and present. For example, she often believes she is still in California, that her parents are coming to visit, etc. We don’t know all of the details on exactly why she ended up here, but were informed that her son, who lives in the States, placed her here and pays for her to stay. He does not visit.
In addition, Barbara does not speak any Spanish, so has no idea what the staff, and large majority of the other residents, are saying to her. You can tell this is difficult for her, especially since she is so friendly and loves sharing stories. As such, we made sure to sit down with her each time we were there and learn more about her life. She always welcomed us with a warm smile and hug and is someone I hope to keep in touch with in the future.
Now, meet Ruth, the woman who most grabbed my heart…
Ruth is from Nicaragua and speaks very good English. She is a feisty little thing who can be quite bossy (my teammates joked that she is the future me), but she is also a big sweetheart whose smile brings a certain warmth to those around her. I first came to meet her as she called out for me to come over and take her to the bathroom. Little did I know this would become the first of many “trips” for her and I. As she directed me on where to push her wheelchair and how to massage her hands and arm, I got to hear different parts of her story.
Her son is married and lives in Nicaragua and he is the one who placed her at the nursing home. She desperately longs to live with them, but says they do not have enough room for her. She doesn’t enjoy it at the nursing home and I could see the reality of this worn across her face. She told me that she spends Christmas there alone crying as she just wants to be with family – this has not happened in 3 years.
She went through her daily schedule with me which mostly includes a bath, 3 meals and sitting outside on the patio. Ruth says they are put to bed around 5:00pm as they “are old and don’t have anything important to do.” She thoroughly enjoys talking with anyone visiting and always seemed so sad when we had to leave.
I’m glad for the opportunity to have met these women and it served as a tough reminder that their stories are not isolated. I’m certain I can find many more like them all around the world…people alone, seemingly abandoned and longing for connection. I hope to remember these women and their stories once I’m back in the States and planning out my time.
As I look out at the events I want to attend and restaurants I want to try, I hope I see Ruth’s face in my mind and remember that many more people and stories are out there, just waiting on a willing heart. You only have to take the time and notice them.
