This is Living Now

My life as I once knew it, is but a cloud of dust rolling behind me with each new step that I take. My heart is being transformed and consistently molded through new experiences, encounters I have with the Lord, and influences from each human I meet around the world. My time on the World Race has been a lot of things, but overall it has solidified the foundation for the rest of my life, establishing the desires of the woman of God that I want to be.

I want my life to be less of what I want, and more of what he desires.

I want my focus to shift from this tiny perception of my capabilities and control of the things around me and more of an automatic willingness to surrender to his lead.

I want my life to be lived with a kingdom focus of glorifying him and leading people to the sweetness of having Jesus in their heart – no matter what it costs.

I want to be a woman of God who doesn’t run when things get messy; who is willing to dip her feet into the waters of difficulty, faithfully moving in a direction where glory comes out of suffering.

I want to be a woman who never settles for lukewarm, who is passionate in all things.

I want to be a woman who rests in the goodness that each season brings, who finishes each chapter no matter how beautiful or stretching it may be.

I want to be a woman who embraces each and every day; who awakens in the morning with Psalm 145:8 on her lips. (Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.)

I want to be a woman who operates in obedience to the things I am called to.

I want to be a woman who doesn’t need validation from others of my worthiness or choices.

I want to live a life of adventure, walking in the identity of a nomadic pilgrim. I want to marvel at his beauty around the world, all while seeking the endless opportunities to tell of God’s unwavering love along the way.

I want to be a woman who lives a life worthy of his calling.

I want to choose him above all things.

I want to live every day knowing that each passing moment is bringing me closer to eternity with him.

I want my life to be a testimony of his grace.

I want to be an environment that people enter and feel seen, loved, challenged, and heard.

I want to be a woman who walks in gentleness, patience, kindness, self control, joy, peace, goodness, faithfulness, and a love so deep for others around me that they see less of me and more of him.

I want to be a woman who puts herself first, who fights for what she is passionate about, who doesn’t waiver in what she believes just because someone tells me to otherwise.

I want to be a woman who chooses to thrive in all things, who is never content with idleness.

That’s the pure and honest truth of it all. It is a choice.

I can choose to live a life chasing after and fulfilling my hopes and dreams, all while glorifying him.

It is a choice, and I’m all in.

This is living now.