Forgiveness…Yuck!
Who came up with this word!?


A few days
ago, I read an article titled “10 Easy Steps to Forgiveness.”


I don’t
remember what they were.


But it got
me thinking, why do I need steps? I don’t want 10 easy steps. I just want to
forgive…like I breathe. I just do it!


I understand
that relationships can be complicated and all conflict is not simple but I do
think there’s something to be said about forgiving people without having to
take steps.


For example,
a few days ago, a close friend of mine apologized for something that she said. I
don’t even remember exactly what she said but I do remember feeling guilty about
how long it took me to forgive her.


The truth
is, I wasn’t slow to forgive her because of the magnitude of what she said (again,
I don’t even remember) but because I felt immediate forgiveness was too easy
for her.


She
apologized before I had the chance to be mad!


What am I
supposed to do? Forgive her right then and there?


Probably.


(And by
probably I mean yes.)


But I didn’t
want to.


I wanted to
hold onto it just a bit longer. I wanted her to feel guilty. This way she would learn the lesson and never do it again. Right!?


I wanted to
align all the details, and analyze the situation before writing the check.


Yuck! (Ugly
heart moment number ??? – its gotta be at least 3 digits by now)


That’s not
me and not who I want to be. I don’t want to think about forgiving people. I
don’t want to do a background check before letting offenses go.


I don’t want
to do “10 easy steps.”


I just want to forgive…QUICKLY!


And this
realization really hurt because I was reminded by another close friend that when
you have a blank check in your hand and the check is connected to an account
that CANNOT be exhausted of forgiveness, its kinda ridiculous that you’re
debating on writing a $10 forgiveness check to someone else.


We forgive
because Jesus forgave us (which last I checked was more than we can account for).


I don’t have
to take steps to be a selfish person because often times I just am. Likewise, I
don’t want to take steps to forgiving people. I just want to BE a forgiving person.


Be kind and
compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God
forgave you. Ephesians 4:32


Tell me…is there
anyone that you’re having a hard time forgiving?


Has anyone ever
forgiven you faster than you expected? Why is it so hard to forgive people?