I’ve always wanted to win.
All my life I’ve ALWAYS wanted to win.
It didnt matter if it was soccer, who can make the most free throws in a row, cricket, or the “I bet I can beat Phoenix in race across the yard” that I play in my head.
I dont care if it’s a benefit game for orphans AND sick puppies.
In fact, no one has to count, I’m keeping track of the score in my head because…well…I want to win.
If someone can be beat, I want in!
I’ve always wanted win…until last week.
For the first time in my life I’ve wanted to be a loser.
I guess a HEART CHANGE for kids will do that to you. I mean what else is an “uncle” supposed to do when his favorite girl says
“Uncle Jamal, coach said he didnt put me in the game because we had to win.”
It’s rare that I dont have ANYTHING to say but I was speechless. How was an “uncle” supposed to respond?
I had to fight back tears.
Best of 3 soccer games, and the last one was a blowout and my girl didnt step on the field once because coach wanted to win.
I’m competitive so…I GET IT! The coach wants to win.
Yeah me too. Ive always wanted to win.
UNTIL I SAW THE LOOK ON MY GIRLS FACE.
You see, I met Chelsea last week in Tegucigalpa, Honduras. We’ve been practicing her soccer skills for the past week and I may be a little bias but she’s good!
But at that moment, I was speechless.
Yeah, in that moment, I decided that I never wanted to make any human being ever feel like that.
EVER!
I have to fight back tears just thinking about it because I know…well…winning is me! I’m a winner and it’s not fun unless I win.
At least thats what I always thought. But not anymore…at least not if winning makes someone feel like Chelsea did.
I guess I’m just redefining what it means to win.
Heres an idea…PEOPLE!
That’s the new win.
*Plaques are cool but people are cooler
*Scores are great but people are better
*Tasks that have been completed are great but people are greater.
*Certificates are great but people are forever.
Don’t get me wrong, I still want to win but never at the cost of making someone feel the way Chelsea felt.
And if that makes me a loser, so be it.
I’d rather be a LOSER WITH PEOPLE, than to WIN ALONE.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not just talking about sports. I’m talking about life. Your job.Your friends.Your Neighbors. Your Church. In everything we do, let’s make loving people the ultimate win.
As you know by now, I have a competitive spirit. Even if I lose, I keep trying because I’m eventually going to win. Quitting is not an option.
But you know whats really cool?
I normally don’t suggest quitting but I suggested she quit the team to prevent any further humiliation (and any more tears from me).
I even told her “I understand if you want to quit. I probably wouldve quit by now too.”
And you know what she said?
“I have to go Uncle J. I have to be there to support my team. Even if I dont play, I have to be there.”
Here it comes…Annnnndddd…I’m crying!
What a response!!!
Shes only 13 and she just made a decision that I’m not sure that I would’ve made if I was in her shoes. She chose people! She chose to endure the pain of losing to watch others win.
She lost but SHE WON!
I want to be more like her.
I want to value people more than the scores or certificates.
I want to be a loser.
Whos with me? Any other losers out there?
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