In a simple understatement, the mission field is a great way to experience personal growth and change. Growth isn’t something that necessarily falls into your lap, but being in an environment where the comforts of home are few and far between, coupled with complete immersion into unfamiliar culture and the incessant encouragement to do things outside of your comfort zone (in the case of the World Race, 11 months straight) surely creates an atmosphere where, in some ways, it actually takes more willpower and resistance to avoid growth than to indulge in what God has for you.
Sometimes change is evident; sometimes it isn’t as obvious. It may manifest itself through an external vessel such as speech or through deed; sometimes it’s an introspective shift in thought. Like Microsoft releasing its newest operating system – sometimes there is clear aesthetic improvement compared to the product’s predecessor, and sometimes the change is “under the hood”, virtually undetectable to the lay user but still an equally, if not more, important change that causes the newest version to be more efficient, robust, and stable.
Change can often be difficult to see in ourselves. This is why it’s so important to have a healthy community who can help affirm and encourage you to use your gifts and abilities to their pinnacle. What causes us not be able to see the change so easily in ourselves? Is it a false humility ingrained into our conscious that refuses to identify our improvements in order to avoid the appearance of conceit? Or, like hair growing from our heads, can it be such a slow process that we don’t really notice the growth until we look back and see where we once were?
This weekend I was able to see an area of growth in my life that has occurred over course of the past two years. This particular area was centered on my confidence. Now, I realize that while on the World Race and leading in Nicaragua I grew exponentially in the department of confidence. I’ve shifted from living as though I am trying to gain acceptance to being able to live from the acceptance I’ve already been granted by God. In fact, this has been one of my biggest areas of growth; however, I still get to enjoy discovering the scope of it.
Before the World Race, I remember driving out of Walmart and sometimes seeing people standing at the corner of the main road and the exit, destitute and holding a cardboard sign that asked for food, money, or work. Between training camp and launch, I felt convicted of all the times I saw them and drove by, in my head condemning their present circumstances as their own fault. I told myself that I wanted to approach them and take them out for food, but the couple times that the chance presented itself, I became too anxious and continued past them. I kept telling myself I was going to do it, but when the moment came, I came up with any superfluous excuse in my head to avoid them.
Fast forward to this past Saturday. Leaving Walmart, for the first time since leaving for the World Race there was a man standing on the corner, holding a sign that read “Traveling. Broke. Hungry. Anything Helps”. This time, I quickly maneuvered my car to the nearest parking lot and walked up to him.
He was extremely dirty, covered in train grease and wearing old, tattered clothes and an old, ripped up backpack. I could smell him from about 15 yards away, and noticed that he had three or four tattoos on his face. He greeted me with a coy “What’s up?” exposing sunken, rotten teeth. I shook his hand, and introduced myself. I quickly offered to take him to Mykenos, a nearby Mediterranean grill with very good gyros, which he accepted. We walked over to my car, and we were off.
It turned out his name was Marshall. He was an eighteen year old from Austin, Texas, and has been a travelling vagabond for the last two years. He was trying to hitchhike his way to Minneapolis, where he would hop a freight train to Washington state. He spoke eloquently and very politely, expressing his gratitude for the food. We talked travel, places we’ve been, and a bit about each other’s lifestyles. I found it very interesting how much we had in common, as we both are currently living nontraditional lifestyles (even though they themselves are very unique of each other!) After about twenty minutes of conversation, I returned him to where he was, and left.
Now for the coolest part of this anecdote: I felt completely composed the entire time. I am glad to see that my conviction has surpassed my desire for comfort. From the moment I saw him to when I dropped him off, I felt very comfortable and had no feeling of anxiety or nervousness; I knew it was what I was supposed to do. I didn’t see what I was doing as something radical – it was just something that I had to do. And that is how God has intended it.
I don’t want to do things thinking that they are crazy, radical, or beyond what I have to do; I want my mindset to be that the things that secular society views as crazy, or beyond what is expected, or possibly dangerous, are simply things that I do because that’s what God has commanded me to. In the eyes of the world, some things may seem above and beyond, but through the lens of faith, they are simply what God wants accomplished on earth. Jesus loves Marshall just as much as He loves me or anybody else – and how cool is that?
