The first two days of training camp have been some of the most heart wrenching, the most challenging, and yet the most inspirational.
Heart wrenching because these days have showed me how dead i am, how far from god i truly am. It has taken the deffences i have set up from long ago and broken them down and left my heart open and un-guarded. It has made me call out to the one true father and with my hands held high yell father lift me up like a toddler to his father.
Challenging due to the fact that even im so far from god my path back to him is in front of me and its up to me to come to him, so i begin having struggles with a war being placed inside and all around me, spiritual warfare is all around us and the minute our heart is open the devil tries to take it and lead me into his wicked ways. However i know god is calling to me saying son my arms are open come to me and i will lift you up. Pray that i stay on the path i am so my father can lift me up and protect me with his love, his grace, and his forgiveness.
Most inspirational cause i have these challenges ahead of me but i have many hopes. Its only the second full day i know that i will be built back up and be able to come and conquer my challenges. i know god will not let me fall as long as i trust in him and keep moving towards him then he will not let my feet stumble, but i have to want to come to him i have to want to walk the narrow pathway and take the beatings from the devil and all the things he wants to pull me away i must be strong enough to keep walking. I also have understanding and experienced leaders here who are counseling me on these trials and when i come back i know i will have these struggles conquered
please pray for my strength in the lord.
