“And the greatest of these is love”
Going into this month The Lord told me that as my world race journey continues He wants me to focus specifically on one fruit of the spirit and explore it deeper. When we first arrived at El Shaddai I sat on a rock outside our living quarters and wept. The beauty of Swaziland is incredible. It brought me to tears. A year ago I had no idea what direction my life was headed and I lived everyday in defeat. I searched for love, acceptance, and identify in all the wrong things. Exactly one year to the day of being at my lowest I found myself sitting on top of a mountain in Swaziland with God. I heard his voice whispering the word love to me… But I pushed the thought away. After all how cliche would it be that the fruit of the spirit would be love in the month of February. It just had to be me thinking of love and not the voice of God.
Well fast forward to our last night in Swaziland, where I again sit crying in the presence of The Lord because of this thing called love. Over this month He has revealed to me how skewed my concept of love really is and he has taught me what perfect love is.
If you read my blog from last month about a little six year old boy I meet in ocean view South Africa you know how special he was to me. Darrell was so sweet and so easy to love.
This month we were all paired with one orphan to really invest in them. Well I was paired with another sweet six year old boy. Sakhile has only been at the orphanage for a few months and was very shy our first few days together. And while his English is not the best he made every effort to communicate with me that he could. The little guy who was so hesitant to physical touch week one was falling asleep against me week two during homework time and by our last night he was sitting in my lap fast asleep listening to worship music. But our time together was not always happy high fives and giggles. There were multiple times during homework time he would shut me out, or go away in his mind and just cry for attention. He would want nothing to do with me on walks with the big kids around and he definitely did not always want to work on what I wanted him to work on during the day. But the desire I felt to peruse him and to love him was so strong.. even when he pushed me away.
And on our last night we all sat in the chapel with our buddies in a candle lit room singing worship songs. My little guy was fast asleep in my lap. I closed my eyes to pray for him but as I did God did not whisper the word love to me he flat out shouted it.
God has provided two very sweet six year old boys in my life these last two months. I think of how receptive Darrell was to me and how easy to love he was. Then I think of sakhile and how every minute was a choice to love and to peruse after him more.
God loves me exactly the same way. When it’s easy and when I shut down. He loves me when I run away from him like sakhile would run away from me on walks and he loves me when I run to him when I get scared like my little guy did when the cows chased us one afternoon.
God loves me when I can relax in his arms and just fall asleep in His comfort.
My skewed view of love is that it is not always strong enough. But Gods love is made perfect in my weakness. His love cast out fear and it purses me when I run from it and it brings me to beautiful places.
Going into India this month The Lord has already put on my heart that He wants me to explore and grow deeper faithfulness. At the end of this month is my next financial deadline to stay on the race. I am about $1,500 short of the 11,000 deadline. I know God has called me to this journey with Him. I also know there are specific people He has planed for me meet and share His love to. Please keep my squad in your prayers as we head to India. If The Lord has placed it on your heart or if he has called you to take a step of faith and to give financially to this journey you can donate by clicking the support me tab under my picture. Thank you all for the support, and prayers.
