One amazing thing about life on the world race is that you realize how every single moment is a ministry opportunity. This month my eyes have been opened to the presence of God. He has led me to the place where my trust is without borders. I was challenged emotionally, physically and spiritually every single day. Through it all The Lord revealed to me his role in it all.
Just like any normal job we have days off on the race. Our first day off most of our squad went to hike table mountain. I doubted my ability to actually hike the whole three miles to the top all week. I agreed to go because I knew there was the option of taking the cable car up to the top. Well the night before I had one song stuck in my head. It was a song from world race training camp. The chorus goes:
“I will wait on you as long as you need me too and strength will rise up in me.
Because I want to fly on wings of eagles
I want to run and never stop
I want to climb your holy mountain
I want to meet with you my God.”
I wanted to climb that mountain top and I wanted to meet with God. I knew it was the Holy Spirit telling me if I went on the hike there would be something waiting me at the top. So I went for it. I quickly made my way to the back of our group because I was terrified of slowing any one else down or inconvenience someone else for going a slower pace. I never realized how fearful I am of being a burden. What a better way to bring this struggle to the front lines than climbing a mountain with my squad. Not even a hour into it I had said sorry to my team member Amanda more than she would ever want to hear. For as long as I can remember I have always felt the need to say sorry to others when I feel like a hinderance to the person. I have prayed that God would take that habit of mine away but I always feel the need to say sorry to people when something goes wrong, even if it is not my fault I feel somehow it could be.
As I debated turning back God used Amanda to offer encouragement. We hiked together for about an hour until we saw anyone else from our squad. We did however meet lots of people along the way. After what seemed like a hour we meet a lady who said we were no more than 10 % done who also informed us there is no more shade until we reached the top. ( I seriously wanted to cry. What had I gotten myself into?) But the Holy Spirit told me to keep going. Along the way I meet a nice man from India who had recently moved to South Africa that I was able to share and pray with before I reached the top.
God revealed himself in so many little ways during our hike he offered shade and wind when we were told there would be none. And while my heart rate should have been pounding it remained calm. The greatest moment of the day came the next time I stopped to take a break. I opened my mouth to say sorry for needing to stop and drink some water and the words literally would not come out. God had my attention. As strange as the feeling was not being able to speak, I was overcome with peace. God told me I had nothing to be sorry for and to rest in his presence as long as I needed to.As all of this was all happening the song played in my head again. When I reached the top I knew instantly what was waiting for me. Freedom. Freedom from feeling like a burden. Freedom from feeling like a hinderance. And freedom to accept help when I need it.
That day was such a mountain top experience with The Lord. It is now my prayer that I experience that Freedom even during the valleys moments.
