“Home is behind, the world ahead”
After watching the movie I could not help but think Bilbo Baggins understands what preparing for the World Race feels like. He gets what its like to be me.
After meeting my squad at training camp and realizing the number of them who are Lord of the Ring fans and I decided I would finally try and read the books or watch the movies. Well the best I did was watch the Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and then see The Desolation of Smaug. It was extremely awesome!
I can relate a lot to Bilbo Baggins. I love the comfort of my home. Being such an introvert that my favorite days involve staying at home in my own little hole reading a book. I like a schedule, and I don’t like change. But as this opportunity calls I find it that I just cannot stay where I am. The last few weeks have been like the morning Bilbo wakes up and sees that the gang has gone on their journey without him but he leaves home behind, and goes into the unknown to seek the adventure that was meet for him.
As I prepare to leave in less than three weeks every night is filled with tears. Going to sleep takes hours because of the tears and the fear. The crippling fear of being forgotten and replaced in the lives of family, friends, co-workers is so overwhelming. I am terrified that I will come back to a home that no longer needs a Jaime Lawhorne. Every goodbye makes me just want to cling to my little hole in the world and never go out. But more than ever I know that God has a plan for me that requires me to leave home and go into the world. One thing that I can already tell about Bilbo is that he does not return home the same Hobbit he was before. I don’t plan on returning home the same Jaime that left. The next 11 months will challenge and mold me more into the person God made me to be.
This morning I was reading though Matthew when Jesus told the disciples to come and follow him. And they did. They did not go and say their goodbyes. They did nto go home and pack their essentials. They just simply went.
It’s hard for me not to feel like a coward when I read about the faith of the disciples. But today God has given me such a peace that its okay to enjoy my last few weeks with friends and family. Its okay to take as many memories, accept as many hugs as I can and simply enjoy this time. My journey has already begun. So with just 18 days left before I embark on this journey the biggest thing I could ask from any of you is prayer. Thank you all so much for all of your support.
” Adventure is out there” – UP
