Nepal was a good month. Overall, I think the theme of this month was God teaching me that His plan for my life is way better than the plan I had for myself. The future He has in store for me far surpasses my selfish wants and desires.
I spent the whole first month in India talking about what my life was going to look like once I got home and how badly I wish I could be back home. I knew I wanted to take this journey that God had called me to but I was not ready to leave the life I loved behind. My thought process was “I will give this year to the Lord but return to everything I like and is familiar when I get return home.”
After grieving the loss of my family, friends, clothes, makeup, pretty hair, good food, comfy bed, hot shower, and many other things back home, I was able to surrender a lot of myself to the Lord. I still have a long ways to go and many dreams, desires, and comforts to give to Him but I’m slowly realizing the benefit of doing so.
There is so much freedom to be had in trusting the Lord and giving yourself fully over to His control. You no longer have to worry about stuff like where you’re going to live, what you are supposed to be doing, who you are supposed to marry, or anything for that matter. God already knows the answer to all those questions and will lead me to where I’m supposed to be at the right time.
The expectations I had for my life were good, but there is no doubt God’s are way better. And I don’t want my expectations to hold me back from walking into what God has waiting for me. I had a vision today of God breaking down a barrier. There was a huge brick wall in front me and God slowly began tearing it down. There was something on the other side of that wall, but I couldn’t see it yet. I know it’s something amazing and extravagant and dazzling with brightness but it can’t be revealed until the wall falls down. I feel like this picture was God just reminding me that when I am willing to give everything over to Him, He is going to give me even more great and mind-blowing things in return!
Having started this process of letting go, I’m looking forward to this month in Thailand and pressing more into God. I believe our entire squad as a whole is ready to walk in more authority and power and watch God really start to transform our hearts and minds.
