With a family made of brothers, sisters, and an all powerful Father that vowed to love me unconditionally, I embraced my pain, my sins, and my guilt, in order to take a look at the real me.
If you are hoping that I’ll unveil the long held secrets embedded in the loaded question, what really happens at training camp, I’m sorry you won’t get that here. But what I do plan to do is tell you how my chains of fear, unworthiness, and control were broken, as I opened my heart to the true power of God.
I have worn several labels over the years that proclaimed some hold over my identity. The foremost of which professed that I am a Christian. But as I marched, or more realistically slinked into camp, I realized my armor was faded. I could tell you the academic definition of who God is, or rather who He is supposed to be, but when it came to my personal experience, I was a little less clear. In fact, I almost rejected The World Race because of a deep seeded fear that I was not “Christian enough.” However, God spoke Truth into that lie, and encouraged me to press on. So here I was, at Training Camp, taking the big leap of faith I knew He was leading me to. And yet, watching myself quickly construct the same wall I’d been building for years; a wall that would continue to keep my relationship with God at a distance.
As my nimble fingers piled brick upon brick, God sent lyrics to my heart that I began to repeat,
“I don’t want to box you in.
You’ve been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don’t want to believe
that you’re big enough, but you’re big enough Jesus.”*
These words began to accumulate and along with them, so did a feeling of peace. He was no longer a God bounded by earthly limitations, overburdened with trivial issues, or unmotivated to act; but rather a merciful God that delights in His children and moves as they move.
“Oh, no matter how I try to get around it – I’m reminded.
Wherever I go, I’m totally surrounded
It’s all about you – I can never doubt you
Even if I wanted to”
I was finally constructing my own definition of God and in the process shattering the comfortable world that kept Him out. If you ask me who God is I can boldly tell you:
~God is the same today, yesterday, and tomorrow and with this statement I believe that God works in our hearts and bodies just as actively today as He did in the Bible.
~No matter how far we think we are from God, He will pursue us continually. He does not turn from us even when we deny Him.
~He is our daddy! He wants to know our every scratch and bruise, our every thought and mumble. No prayer is more or less worthy. He wants to know it all!
~God has a better plan for us than we have for ourselves. We must faithfully relinquish control.
~God’s weight outweighs the weight of our past. He is mighty. He is good. He forgives. He IS love.
“There’s no denying, your love is so amazing.
And even though my problems seem typical
Nothing for you is ever too difficult.
Your never have reservations – love without limitations.”
Going forth to Victory…
I titled this post God wrecked my world…
and that’s because it's exactly what I needed!
*all lyrics in quotes are from Ayiesha Woods song Big Enough….check it out, it’s a keeper!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11G1S9rPWUA
P.S. More pictures from training camp coming soon….waiting for them to all be uploaded by my awesome squad mates!
