This is a lengthy blog. But it is where my heart is and I pray it can minister to yours when it comes to suffering.
I’m trying to type a wrap-up blog about what has happened this past month. But I can’t. We’ve done so much in regards to ministry. And I mean, a lot! I’ve preached 6 times to a variety of people and places including a funeral, we’ve fed hundreds of starving children, set up a 2 night youth rally, gave out Bibles to prisoners on Christmas Day, restored an elderly woman’s floor so she could easily walk around her own home, did skits for the children, met and prayed over countless people, and left a lasting legacy for the people of the Philippines to remember for years to come.
But it hasn’t been all smiles.
This has been the hardest month for me.
And there have been countless moments where I just want to quit.
I want to type up this nice little blog so that I can let my subscribers know that is everything is okay. That it’s all smiles on the mission field. There might be retaliation for what I’m about to say. I might lose contributions. Get scolded at possibly. Who knows. But I wan to share the truth. I want you to know where I’m at. And it’s not a picture-perfect, Kodak moment. Missions isn’t a cozy field trip where a bunch of White Americans hold poverty-stricken babies to post on their blog and then go back to the Holiday Inn to sing Kumbaya with their hands held tightly together.
Missions is war, and you will suffer.
And I am suffering.
“If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.”
-Jesus Christ, Luke 9:23
Those of us who would come after and follow Jesus should expect suffering. To deny oneself means to let go any control of one’s life, and to pick up a cross means to commit oneself to the Way that will lead to rejection, pain, suffering, and even death, and to follow Christ means to bear the image of His character and follow His commands.
It’s a call to suffer.
“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs— heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”
-The Apostle Paul, Romans 8:16-18
Paul in the first 17 verses of Romans chapter 8 celebrates this beautiful, unimaginable new life of the Spirit that Christians enjoy as a result of Christ’s saving work. We share in the works of the Spirit, and this witness of our spirit at work with the Spirit gives us assurance that we are sons and daughters of God. Oh, how precious is that! How wondrous it is to be redeemed and adopted as a child of God. And not only that, but all who are God’s children are heirs of His promises! Peace, comfort, love joy, empowerment, all of His promises. But also, the willingness to follow Christ in suffering is the other unchangeable sign of being God’s children.
We will suffer. There’s no way around it. It’s promised us by Christ Himself. To follow Christ means to suffer. Our utmost hope is as Christians we will be received on our final day the ultimate glory of being with Christ in eternity, and it’s this that is so stupendous that the sufferings of this present time are insignificant in comparison.
“For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake,”
-The Apostle Paul, Philippians 1:29
Troubles, trials, and moments of unbearable pain will come, because the reality is that believers in Christ will suffer for the sake of Christ. Paul teaches that not only is faith in itself a gift from God, but also suffering. Paul says that it has been granted to us. Suffering is a gift. Suffering for the sake of Jesus is a great privilege that all that follow Jesus will come to know, and if chosen, enjoy.
“Then they (Peter and John) left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the Name.”
-The Apostle Luke, Acts 5:41
The apostles left rejoicing at being considered worthy to suffer for their witness in Jesus’ name, which they boldly resumed despite the Sanhedrin’s threat. Their suffering paradoxically resulted in the growth of the church (Acts 6:1). Suffering for the name of Jesus is a characteristic theme in the Christian life.
The purpose of the suffering of God’s Son, Christ Jesus, was to display the glory of His grace and the supreme satisfaction in glorifying His name.
The purpose of our suffering is to join the Son in displaying the supreme satisfaction of God’s glorious grace in picking up our cross and walking down the narrow path He has set before us.
I believe that there is no other way that we will be able to display the surpassing joy in the Lord and to show Him as truly satisfying; that He is our treasure and not the joys of this world. Our worship supersedes circumstance, and our joy in Christ is displayed supremely in our suffering. The World Race has brought me great suffering, in physical, spiritual, and emotional realms. One of my favorite quotes is by the great theologian Augustine. He says,
“The Church is a Whore and She's My Mother.”
I would say it a little differently:
“The World Race is a Whore and She’s My Mother.”
Every Racer, whether they admit it or not, has this breakdown (on more then one occasion) on the Race where they can’t stand being on the mission field. There are moments where you wake up on the dirty floor you are sleeping on or while you're eating the foreign food of another country or laboring during ministry, and wish you were home. King Solomon states in the last chapter of the book of Ecclesiastes
“Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, ‘I have no pleasure in them’”
Like Solomon says, there are moments where you don’t want to wake up. There are moments on the Race where you feel like giving up; that you have no way of moving forward. I’ve felt these moments more this month than I ever have so far on this trip; tensions on the team, illness, homesickness, missing my old team, damaging my shoulder, demonic opposition, severely poor living conditions, splitting my lip open, the loss of a friend, frustrations with fundraising, all points in this month where I simply didn’t want to go any further. As Augustine stated that the Church was a Whore, he was piercing at this truth that there are moments where even the most devoted Christian can’t stand the Church, whether it’s because of persecution, hypocrisy, oppression, or any other form of suffering. The World Race has been, at some moments, this place where I long to escape from. The joy and excitement I once had that boiled in my heart as I sat with anticipation in the airplane on the way to my first month has simmered down to an apathetic, lukewarm, staleness. Suffering has taken its toll on this beaten body, and there are moments where I wish I didn’t come on this trip.
And yet, in my suffering, there is hope. The World Race is my Mother, who’s taught me things I could have never of learned being somewhere else, and have had experiences that would have never of happened in places I would have never went to if it wasn't for the Race. Being on the World Race has taught me that suffering is a gift because when taken properly it births wisdom and deeper affection for the One who you suffer for. And being a missionary, or even a Christian, is not the good life. I’ve heard some people argue that “If there isn’t a God and Jesus isn’t real, then it’s okay because we’ve lived good lives” as an argument for believing in Jesus. I would say, no, you’re wrong, because following Jesus isn’t the good life. Paul says this:
“If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.”
-1 Corinthians 15:19
Paul says this, that if Jesus isn’t real, if we’ve followed this man all our lives and eternity and the promise of salvation is not true, then we as followers of Jesus are to be the most pitied people on earth. Paul could not say that the Christian life is a good life when he says that if in Christ we don’t have a hope for a life to come then we are be the most pitied of men. Our lives, our suffering, are all in vain if there is no resurrection.
But oh, how true it is that Christ has died and risen and will come again.
It is not in vain that we would suffer greatly for our great King.
The World Race has taught me that in my suffering I can rejoice, knowing that my satisfaction in Christ in my suffering displays the glory of His grace, and I can find comfort in the hope of His glory. The display of the satisfaction in Christ presents to those who do not know Him this hope. How did we get to where we are, with 1.3 billion professing believers in Christ across the globe when it started from 12 discples? Suffering. There has never been a breakthrough on the mission field into the unreached people of this world without suffering. If you’re going to follow Jesus, become a missionary, go on the World Race, know that there will be suffering. Don’t be surprise.
It’s not if you suffer. It’s when you suffer.
My hope and heart is, just as I’ve learned and am learning, even in the midst of suffering you can rejoice knowing that you are being called to follow Christ and share with Him the supreme satisfaction in the glory of God’s grace; that this momentary pain is a gift of God given to you to bring you life and bring it abundantly. Suffering is the norm for Christians, not a surprising exception. To suffer as a Christian is a call to rejoice as a disciple of Christ, and such joy is the prelude to the joy that is to come at the return of Christ.
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.”
-The Apostle Peter, 1 Peter 4:12-13
God does not call us to a miserable life. But He does call us to a painful life. But in this pain, there is joy, in this pain there is rejoicing, because we have a hope that will not put us to shame.
“…We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
-The Apostle Paul, Romans 5:3-5
We as children of God not only find joy in future glory but in present trials and sufferings, not because trials are pleasant but because they produce a step-by-step transformation that makes believers more like Christ. We have no reason to fear shame, for we now belong to God. The love of God is in us, and we put our satisfaction and joy in that, even in the midst of the tears and pain. I would suggest that if you really want to feel and know the love of God in your life, lay down your life for another, sacrifice your money, your time, your life for His namesake. And in that suffering, you will feel and come to know the love of God.
As I begin month 5 of the Race, about halfway through this trip, please pray for me as I pray for you, that my heavy heart may find satisfaction in the glory of God’s grace and in His grace has found me worthy to suffer for His namesake. Pray for my heart; how prone it is to wander away from the deep well of Living Water and sip on the tainted drips of the world. Pray for funds to come in. I still am in need of contributions and will not be here for much longer if I do not make my deadline. Pray for my new team as I continue to step into a deeper intimacy with them and battle the flesh that tends to quarrel and fight. Pray for my next month in Thailand; the women are splitting into two teams and the men into one big team. Pray that God will bring me new revelation as I minister alongside my fellow brethren. Pray for rest in my life. Although I’m at Debrief with a bed and cool air, I feel so restless and tired. My eyes grow heavy and my knees grow weak. Rest in the Lord is what my heart desires. And pray that the love of God will pour out through this tired soul, that all who I may encounter would find Christ as satisfying and would come to know Him.
I rejoice in my suffering. God is more precious to me than anything life could give, and anything death can take. I pray that my suffering may display the supreme satisfaction I continually find in His glorious grace.
To God be the glory, forever.
