I love books. I often will say that my books are my one remaining
idol. I don’t know how true that is — I’m not sure if my books
are really an idol or if, in fact, I have no others. Still, I love my
books. When I was a leader on the World Race, I actually GAVE BOOKS
AWAY. These were books I liked, books I may even buy again. And I gave
them away. I used to loan my books and scare people into not
dog-earing the pages. This was a big deal.
idol. I don’t know how true that is — I’m not sure if my books
are really an idol or if, in fact, I have no others. Still, I love my
books. When I was a leader on the World Race, I actually GAVE BOOKS
AWAY. These were books I liked, books I may even buy again. And I gave
them away. I used to loan my books and scare people into not
dog-earing the pages. This was a big deal.
It sounds funny to say this, being that I’m not quite yet married, but it’s true: when I led the June 2010 World Race Squad this summer, the Lord implanted in me His Father’s heart. I think I knew it was coming. That didn’t change the fact that it was overwhelming.
I traveled for four months with about fifty folks (a good half of whom are actually older than me). I didn’t expect to love these fifty folks as much as I do. I didn’t expect to smile so hard that I laugh when I read about the victories they are finding in the nations. When they catch another little glimpse of who they are in Christ, I want to shout and tell the whole office. I pass their blogs around to my friends like a proud parent.
I certainly didn’t realize how much I was going to care for Stephanie. In my time on the field, I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with her. I think she would even say that those first few months were a struggle for her. She missed home, she wasn’t sure she made the right decision going on the World Race, and she wasn’t sure she was buying all this Holy-Spirit-empowerment stuff we were selling.
At the end of our third month, at the Awakening Conference, I prayed over her. I saw that the Lord was restoring her to purity. I wasn’t sure what that meant, and I don’t claim to know what it means now. But it’s what the Lord said. And when I prayed over her, the Lord placed her on my heart. All of a sudden I couldn’t wait to see this girl come alive.
Then I came back to the States and my Squad continued their journey through Africa. I started to read a lot of Stephanie’s blogs. Somewhere along the line a shift had happened. She was sharing her heart in deep ways. The Lord was and is doing big things in there too.
I read a blog about how Stephanie was confronted with senseless death and heart-wrenching malnutrition. I read her blog that was an open letter to the boy she met in the hospital who died at age 4 looking like an 8 month-old baby, because he didn’t have enough to eat. I saw that Stephanie was encountering emotions she had never known before. I knew how hard it was for her to feel the pain she felt walking through those hospitals, but I knew it was waking her up to a new hope in the Kingdom. In the letter she wrote to Benjamin, the little boy who died, she says:
My dearest friend Ben,
You were loved. I only knew you for a few days but I loved you. You
captured my heart from the beginning. You taught me compassion on a new
level. You taught me the importance of justice, the importance of love.
In your face I saw the pain that you lived in, your body revealed the
frailty of life. I pray that you are with the Lord. That you are pain
free in the presence of the one who made you, the one who loves you
unconditionally. Your short life was a blessing. I will never be the
same because I met you and loved you. My heart breaks for the things
that this world tells me that you missed. But I know that the Lord has a
bigger plan for your life than humanity can muster for you.
You were loved. I only knew you for a few days but I loved you. You
captured my heart from the beginning. You taught me compassion on a new
level. You taught me the importance of justice, the importance of love.
In your face I saw the pain that you lived in, your body revealed the
frailty of life. I pray that you are with the Lord. That you are pain
free in the presence of the one who made you, the one who loves you
unconditionally. Your short life was a blessing. I will never be the
same because I met you and loved you. My heart breaks for the things
that this world tells me that you missed. But I know that the Lord has a
bigger plan for your life than humanity can muster for you.
The Lord is changing Stephanie’s heart and her perspective. I couldn’t be more proud. She knows now that the world is a place where we cannot rest until the Kingdom will manifest. She’s felt the pain of death and injustice and she’s ready to say, “That’s not good enough!” She’s saying it for herself too:
So thank you Africa for showing me that beauty is more than what I can
accessorize with or cleanliness. That it is truly the inside that makes
us beautiful as for now that is all that I have. The Lord has truly
blessed me with this time here. To not care about the appearance and
just focus on the heart. Because believe me the outside is dirty and a
bit sweaty. But thankfully the Lord is doing leaps and bounds with my
heart so I feel beautiful despite the lack of proper hygiene.
accessorize with or cleanliness. That it is truly the inside that makes
us beautiful as for now that is all that I have. The Lord has truly
blessed me with this time here. To not care about the appearance and
just focus on the heart. Because believe me the outside is dirty and a
bit sweaty. But thankfully the Lord is doing leaps and bounds with my
heart so I feel beautiful despite the lack of proper hygiene.
So I ran around the office this morning. I told everyone to read the blog Stephanie posted today — the one I just quoted. Stephanie says that in Africa, for the first time in her life, she has gone days without showering. She said being dirty all the time and wearing the same clothes for days on end has helped her to realize the full measure of her beauty.
I’m rejoicing with the angels today. Stephanie Webster knows a little better who she is in Christ. Like a Father, I couldn’t be more proud.
